LiseyB's I-am-pregnantblog

LiseyB
	Age: 36 Country: Australia Province/region: Victoria City: Partner: Benny Children: Yes, 2 Pregnant: No Occupation:
	Online: 22 hours ago. Last updated: 52 days ago. Member since: 1655 days
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20-11-2009 - What is wrong with me????

My mood while writing this blog:
sad

Hi girls,

So many of you know I miscarried 3 weeks ago. And just as I was starting to feel stronger and more positive about the future - today I went to the doctors because I have been bleeding on and off for three weeks and spotting for 2 weeks before the miscarriage on 2nd November at 6 weeks 5 days. My doctor was concerned about retained products and said my bleeding pattern was not normal. That it should have been complete in a week but no more than two. I am just about over it.

So the ultrasound revealed that the miscarriage is nearly complete as the endometrium lining was thinner than last time. Jesus - how much thinner can it get? I have bled for nearly 5 weeks! Of course this is good news as I probably won't have to have a D & C. But laying on the table was like finding out all over again and I broke down into a babbling mess.

To make it all more difficult I got a phone call from a friend last night who announced that she is pregnant with twins and is due at the time I would have been. She decided to try and the first month became pregnant. So I am finding it hard to project any joy her way after truing for 12 months and it ending in a miscarriage.

I am so pissed that not only have I lost our baby, but my period still might not return for at least another 4 weeks from now. I had my first beta blood test today and I have another on Monday to see if it is going down. And I started to miscarry nearly 5 weeks ago. It just is so unfair. And I can't help thinking about the growing gap in age between my first and my planned second. We have been trying to conceive for nearly a year. And now I have to wait till at least December January to resume TTC.

To top off a shitty day, I have tried for 10 years to get an ongoing job in a local school that I have been working at on contract for years. And today they appointed some 20 year old graduate straight out of college because he is cheaper to hire than me. Not only that - but I trained him when I was a lecturer at his university!

So over it. But thankful I have some wonderful women to at least vent to. Thanks for listening!

4 Comments on What is wrong with me????

missing*my*2angels - Monday, 23 Nov
i'm so sorry for your loss there are no words to make you feel better but i will preay for you and your family.

rubylove - Friday, 20 Nov
I am so sorry for your loss and so sorry that you are having such a difficult time..I pray that things become easier for you, and that you get ur BFP soon. Stay strong..

dawnybobs - Friday, 20 Nov
wish i could wave a magic wand for you lisa I really do- I know how truly awful it is and its so ironic how when you are going through the things you are at the moment it seems everywhere you turn is a pregnant person! i rememeber even resenting people on soaps ACTING pregnant, I do believe the time will come for you again- cherish every moment you have with your gorgeous little boy before he has to share you with a baby brother or sister because that day will come xxxxxx

MamaCas29 - Friday, 20 Nov
I am so sorry you are going through such a difficult time. Who knows why such shitty things seem to happen one after the other. You've been such a trooper for a long time and I think it's just time you stomped your feet and asked "why me". Of course, not for too long, but a good fit is well deserved. I admire your strength and I know you will conceive. It will happen hun, I so believe it. As for when, well, that's up to the one upstairs....and that is the frustrating part. I'll keep you in my thoughts. And I hope you have something wonderful come up to distract you from all the shittyness.....Take care.

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