21-9-2009 - Possible c-section

My mood while writing this blog: Still hopeful

Well girls, in all honesty I thought that things would flow as easily as they did last time. But when I went to my antenatal appointment this morning, my doctor told me that the baby is still breach, and that I was going to have to make a decision about the course of action, two of the options include cesareans.

I realize that it's not the worst possibility in the world, and that the most important thing is that the baby gets here safe and sound, but I don't see how I will be able to look after Lucas and a newborn baby while still recovering myself. A natural birth doesn't scare me nearly as much. The funny thing is that there has always been this thought in the back of my mind that this might happen. The reason being that my last pregnancy and my mother's first were almost identical - it was kind of freaky - and her second pregnancy ended in an emergency cesarean. But I tried not to think about it too much, I just thought things would work out the way they were supposed to.

Now I have three options.

1. The doctor said they can try to turn the baby - possible risks include effecting the baby's blood supply, which could end in a c-section anyway, or worse.

2. Wait until I go into labour, and if the baby still hasn't turned, I'll be sent in for an emergency cesarean - risks include the possibility that the umbilical cord will drop before they get the baby out, and of course all the normal risks of cesareans.

3. Have an elected cesarean on a pre-arranged date prior to labour - the risk is marginally less than if I were to wait until I went into labour, but would still include all the normal risks of a cesarean birth.

On top of the fact that the baby is breach, he/she is still undersized. They aren't worried about this, but to me, with the added issue of being breach, it's just another possibility for complications. I don't know why, but I am honestly terrified of having a cesar - to me it's a major surgery that I would just rather avoid, but more than anything I want to do whats right for my baby. But which option is right? They all have risks. With every single one there is a possibility that something might go wrong. Where is the green arrow pointing to the right answer? lol.

So anyway, I've made an appointment to see my GP, and have a bit of a chat with him about what he thinks, just a bit of a second opinion. Then DH and I are going to have to make our decision, because I don't exactly have a lot of time left, and if we are going to opt for trying to turn the baby, we have to do it asap, or else it'll be too big to turn. Urrgh!

Just to make things even better, Lucas has been sick all day, his temperature keeps changing, and all he wants is cuddles. But he's so discontent that he doesn't know if he wants to lay down or sit up, put his head on my shoulder, have a drink of water ... he's all over the place. Poor little darling. He's sleeping again now, so I hope he wakes up feeling a little better this time. I really just want to get some food into him, but at least he's still drinking plenty of water. I hate seeing him sick, he's too little to be sick.

Take care girls. xx