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|19-3-2009 - help!
||My mood while writing this blog:|
ok so this has been on my mind since Brayden was born and I just need to get it out!
So does anyone ever feel protective or jelous sometimes of their MIL???
so we moved back in with his parents to save money and everything. well when Brayden was born she started constanly trying to find ways to hold him and take him from me and to me it seems like she just wants to controll everything but Steven doesnt think that. I just feel like shes trying to make Brayden like her more or something and I know that sounds horrible but its how I feel and I cant help it :(
Please someone tell me Im just crazy and Brayden would never love her MORE than me!! lol I know it may sound rediculous but if you were aorund you would understand why I feel this way. She just is CONSTANTLY asking "you want me to take him? oh ill change him! want me to feed him?" im like....OK WOMAN I will let you know if I need you for anything! and im not trying to be ugly or anything but DAMN! she needs to BACK OFF some before I go INSANE! I just feel like shes trying to take over or something....I would just DIE if Brayden smiled at her before me or cried with me because he wants her or something....and since we LIVE with them shes always around, hes gonna grow up for the first 5 months or so of his life hearing and seeing her...
is she going to be just important to him as I am!?!?! oh I would just be devestated...I have never done all this before so I guess Im just scared hes gonna like her more or something :( someone help me.....
9 Comments on help!PrOuDaRmYwIfE
- Wednesday, 22 Apr OMG! I am feeling the same exact way!!! No lie.. you took the words right out of my mouth!!! My husband is deployed right now so I can't really talk to him about it so im here fending for myself and my gabby girl and I feel like she thinks that Gabby is HER daughter! UGH I get so frustrated! X-LeahsMummy-X
- Friday, 20 Mar No noo noo of course he wont love her more then you, your his mummy :) mummies are extra special.
i no just what you mean though my MIL is just like that, annoys the hell out of me. like u said she always is trying to hod her always does everything but without asking really she will be holding her and say ooh she needs her nappy changed, she wont say do u want me to do it, she will just go do it, and if shes holding her and i say oh she needs feeding now and he will say ok ll do it! arrrgh annoys me so much and she seems to get jelos when FIL hold her shes like, u cant sit and hold her all day she needs to learn to lay on her own, im like for god sake woman, its fine shes allowed cuddles!! she seems to think i need a break and i want her to take over everytime im round, which iu dont. and also sje is always telling me things i should and shouldnt be doing, like as leah was constipated she told me to dilute her milk a bit so its not so thick and might help, but it says on the tin not to make it stronger or weaker as it could make baby ill. and shes like ooh dont worry it will be fine!! ggrrrr. and the health visitor told me leah shoudnt be drinking as much as she was as it was whats making her sick alot and bloated and constipated, but as always MIL seemed to think she knows better and sid its fine if shes hungry feed herr, grrr makes me angry, and she always pops over uninvitd arrrgh!!! makes me so annoyed, she almost majkes me scared to do what i want in front of her, like we was havingdinner round theres and leah wasnt crying, but whinging for her bottle, and it was due so i wanted to get t redy for her and eat dinner later but nooo MIL was saying how she was fine, she was onlywhinging. i felt horrible just leaving he there. arrgh
omg lol im sorry i seemed to of written my own little blog here, m sorry but i no whatyour going through. but i deff think baby will alwys love u more xxxx aloha.ma
- Thursday, 19 Mar There is no one like a mommy! Believe me! He will love you more forever...maybe even more than he'll care for Daddy:) Mommies raise and set the sun according to their babies.
But I so understand how you feel..its legit! My MIL is the SAME way with Aiyana. I wont allow it anymore with both babies. If my daughter would get hurt my MIL would try to coax her to her rather than me. She would even step in front of me to get to her before me. I think MIL have a hard time being grandma rather than mom. They also think "they know best" ...But stand your grounds....respectively...and you'll feel much better. When Aiyana was about 6 months my FIL would give my daughter a soda can to drink AND stick her fingers in the SHARP hole....it took me forever to say something...with confidence...and to where they would listen. Now I have no problem speaking up:)lol Megan
- Thursday, 19 Mar i dont think youre crazy, but i also dont think its really possible, especially this early, for him to love her more than you. remember that for those 9-almost 10 months that he was in your belly he heard YOUR voice... not hers. he knows youre his momma and are very important to him. i kinda know where youre coming from though we dont live with my in-laws. sometimes i feel like she's trying to recreate her son's (my husband's) childhood and buys things for my sons that her son had growing up and wanted my son's nursery theme to be how she decorated her son's, etc. it started to really bug me. if you think she's doing something like this and you feel comfortable then say something to her as nicely as possible. if you think that she's just wanting to help and going over board then i would thank her for her help and try to be okay with it... cuz trust me... there will be a time when you'll miss all that help. right now i have become a single mom to a now 2 year old son and a 2 month old son and let me tell you it is hard work! especially since little one doesnt sleep well at night. i guess what im trying to say is try and look at it in the best possible light and if you still cant stand it then try and say something to her in the best possible way. hopefully she'll get the point and give you some space without getting upset. good luck! hope this helped some. darrius mommy
- Thursday, 19 Mar I agree, you have to stand your ground. b/c he just a baby yeah he knows your his mom but if your not the one thats there when he needs you to be or all he ever sees is grandma than they can become more attached to her than you. It happened with my friend in high school, b/c she was young when she had her little girl she kept giving her to mom and her lil girl wont even LIVE with her now she has to be with grandma and she wont listen to mom or anything throws fits and everything. it all starts with when they are babies are learning everyone. STAND YOUR GROUND!!! lisey-n-brees-mommy
- Thursday, 19 Mar if you dont stand your ground they can and will take over. sometimes you just need to be a little bit more firm and they need to understand this is your first lil one. i already told MIL and the whole family i know im going to be overprotective with this baby because we lost our last son And a healthy baby at the end of a pregnancy i took it for granted. With our first born DH wanted to keep passing our lil one off to his mom i had to tell her and him "NO , he is the daddy he needs to learn how to do it!:" he helped me more with our second than with our first lol. I think when they get older you will deff get your feelings hurt more than like around 2 and 3 years old and they can talk. they can say some mean things and not even know it. ashleyalaskelson
- Thursday, 19 Mar i have this problem with my best friend. she is a little crazy when it comes to luke.! I love that she is so into him, and i've known her for 10 years. but for some reason i feel like she's trying to parent him sometimes (even though he's only 2 months old). or that she's trying to tell me and bryce (baby's daddy) how to do things.!
i know luke will never love her more, but i just want to snatch him from her sometimes and tell her to go away.
maybe you should talk to your mother in law. in a way that wouldnt offend her. i still need to do that with my friend. :/ abrock8680
- Thursday, 19 Mar Haha thats just a grandma for ya! mamalvs4
- Thursday, 19 Mar I totally agree with you that MIL can be a little overbearing, my ex MIL was a nightmare in ways i cant even explain,im lucky now that my new MIL is a god send........what i think is important to remember, is one-that baby LOVES his mommy no one will ever take that place. TWO- your MIL is probably just as excited about the baby as you are, new babies have a tendency to create "baby fever" and THREE- your hormones are crazy right now so its totally normal for you to be feeling like this. Im sure your mother in law is just trying to "help" and where mothers tend to always think they know best, im sure she means no harm she is probably just getting caught up in all that wonderful new baby smell. im sure that living arrangement takes a toll on you, do you have a place where you and baby can go just to be by yourself etc? if you cant find a little space, then maybe just telling her that you want to just go cuddle with the baby and excuse yourself and tell her how much you enjoy doing all te babies needs, but you appreciate her always so willing to help.......trust me 5 mo is a short time in regards to the rest of your life, things will calm down and get into a routine im sure of it!!!! good luck