28-5-2009 - i met with the lawyer...and talked to baby daddy

My mood while writing this blog: confused/worried

So I had the mtg with the lawyer and really feel like i've gotten nowhere except that i know about where i stand. He said that i could definitely win full custody and child support right now, but it would cost $1000 for him to file...then if Roland wants to fight the custody and he has to actually go to court, it would be $125/hour of work. Plus, even when i win full custody Roland could come back later after he's gotten his ish together and get the custody order changed. I know Roland would probably do this just to spite me b/c I have gotten full custody and his money. It's a lose-lose situation cuz i feel like he's eventually gonna wake up and wanna play daddy so he'll try to get Jayde from me by any means necessary. I hate this cuz Jayde and I are perfectly fine; she has a schedule and i don't want him coming in and messing that up just cuz he feels like it. Also, how do i have $1000 when clearly i'm raising a child by myself??! I hate that he's put me and his daughter in this situation. He should at least care about Jayde's feelings more than that. AUGH!!!

So i called Rol (mind you its been over 2 weeks) and this dude actually wanted to argue and have me butter him up cuz he feels i did somethin wrong to him by not calling. I'm like i'm taking care of my responsibility and all i wanna know is if you wanna still be a part of your daughter's life and how you're gonna help me out financially. Blah blah blah, nothing he says made any sense and the convo. was pointless so i just got off the phone. I guess i'll just "BE" right now...not make any decisions yet and see what happens.

Onto better news...school is out in 2 more weeks so i get a whole 3 months to be with my princess all day everyday. I think we're gonna travel a lot this summer...ya know, stay with friends and fam and just relax in different parts of the country. I'm so glad i saved enuf money during the school year to not have to work this summer. Yay for planning ahead! :-)

It's only 7:45pm but i'm going to bed...tomorrow's FRIDAY!!!