25-6-2009 - i've got to...get away...

My mood while writing this blog: fed up, excited

I'm not going to spend too much time on this, but...since Saturday Rol's been saying he's gonna get formula and bottled water for Jayde. He came over on Monday and he'd swore he'd have it by then, well, still nothing. So then he claims he'll get it Tuesday after his dad pays him (yes, this fool is working for his dad, getting paid under the table, and still can't/ won't help). Well, Tuesday around 2pm i'm texting him, "Jayde has 6 oz. of formula left and that's for her feeding at 5:30pm, should i jus get some?" Him: "i'll let you know as soon as i get back to da house." He calls and says he's still waiting on someone to come pick up their car and pay them (he's a mechanic), but if not his dad would give him some money. He calls around 8pm (at this point i've alread bought formula cuz i can't have my baby wake up hungry with nothin to eat). He says he has $10 but was still waiting on his dad and that he'll call after he picks up his bro from Gboro. He then tells me his stepsister is having her 21st bday get togther that night and he'll be going to get drunk. He then hangs up and texts me: "yeah, i don't think you want to come to the get together b/c [stepsister] is bringing [his girlfriend]. I FLIP cuz he knows i don't like him and her cuz he cheated wit her and now he wants her to be my daughter's stepmom!!! Needless to say it escalated from there (we texted back and forth for about 2 hours); he claims she wants to cuss me out or fight me or whatever, so i was about to ride over to his dad's house. I luckily came to my senses and stayed put b/c as a teacher i can't get into any trouble that would be a "bad influence on the students".

Do yall feel me though?? He was just at my place until 2 am or so Monday and we laid everything out on the table, including OUR FEELINGS FOR EACHOTHER. So why would he throw his new g/f in my face like that??! I'm stupid for even continuing any kind of friendship with him. I just don't get it; he's got time and money for his girl, alcohol, food, gas, etc., but NOTHING for OUR daughter. Shoot, we went 50/50 in the bed so i'mma need him to man up and gimme SOMETHING!

Anyways, Jayde and I are getting away from here for a few days (I won't say where to b/c ppl can find out things on the internet). I'm tired of Jayde being a priority to the "family" she has around High Point/Gboro. We're going somewhere where ppl love and spoil her and help me out. I don't even feel like going to my parents b/c they bring up the issues with Rol and i don't feel like talking or thinking about it at all for a few days after this blog. I'm excited about our little road trip and mini paradise for a lil while. Yall pray for us as this is the longest trip i've taken with her by myself.

Also, thanks for the comments on my blog and posts on my poll! I've decided we're getting the ears pierced next Wednesday (whether we're back here or not). That's Jayde's 4 month birthday. I've also made up in my mind that from here on out we're gonna do something special on each month birthday, like take a road trip, get pics done, have a day at the park, etc. Whatever is "new" that is age appropriate we'll be doing on the specific day. Man, i love my little princess! If it weren't for her, idk where i'd be or what'd i'd do. My life is dedicated to doing what's right for her and being a good role model for her!

Talk to you ladies in a few days once we're back from our lil vacation!