30-6-2009 - he put his hands on me

My mood while writing this blog: scared/ angry

I know i said i would update yall on our getaway, but this is more important...

Before i left Rol and i had a yelling match in his dad's front yard (i went over there to drop off his dad's Father's Day card and he tricked me by telling me to come in the house and Rol was in there). Make a long story short he and I ended up out side yelling back and forth. His dad broke it up and set us down for a talk and i left. I didnt talk Rol while on was on the trip but he asked me to let him know when we were back and my dumb self did just that.

Anyways, again Rol came over here today with no formula, no bottled water, no money, nothing...I've got Jayde in her pouch and i'm washing bottles. HE DOESN'T EVEN COME AND HOLD HER! So i keep going about my buisness and finally put Jayde down in her bouncy seat. HE STILL DOESN'T PICK HER UP OR ANYTHING! So I'm like if you're not here to see your daughter you can get out cuz i have nothing to say/ do for you/ to you. He argues for awhile and after i threaten to call the police he starts to leave. I ask him for his dad's number so i can get the formula and stuff (his dad said to call him if i needed anything). He makes a joke outta the fact that "i'll have to figure out a way to get his dad's number so i can get the formula". I take it as a challenge or whatever so when he puts his phone down in the car, i take it and go inside my apt. Jayde is crying so i pick her up and this negro GRABS ME FOM BEHIND AND STARTS WRESTLING ME for his phone! In the wrestling and grabbing he pushes me with Jayde in my arms into Jayde's baby swing. I get up and smack him so hard his sunglasses fly across the room. I pick up my cell and tell him i'm dialing 911 cuz i'm scared at this point and he's cussing up a storm, talking about he's gonna get his shades. He runs to his car and speeds away but not before i gave the dispatcher his car make, model, liscence plate number (he drives a different car every other month). Cops show up and i can't file a warrant for his arrest cuz i have no marks (the recording at 911 clearly picked up my baby's wailing from the pain but whatev).

I found out when his dad and mom called me that he's claiming he did none of this and his lil bro was wit him and his lil bro is taking his side. Too bad his lil bro was in the car during the fight, but i can't prove that so idk what's gonna happen. Yeah, both his parents call and now all of a sudden care about Jayde's wellbeing and of course me puttin Rol in jail.

The police said Rol could actually press charges if he has a mark from me slapping him or whatever so idk ladies, i could be in the slammer for 48 hours at some point...sure hope not...I'm a lil scared and freaked out cuz Rol has never acted like this. I think i may go stay with friends or family tonight (but that takes traveling at least a little). Yall pray for me cuz this has obviously gotten very bad. And i know i'm a dummy for not takin this to court already (and takin dude's phone). So tired and stressed and scared, sad, angry...is this really the dude that i laid up in the bed with and gave so much of myself for over a year??! I'm apparently a really bad judge of character. What do i do from here?

I will hopefully have a much happier blog tmrw about ear piercing and our lil vacay. Talk to ya then...