03-10-2009 - Ahhhhhhh!

My mood while writing this blog: Sad

I am almost 17 weeks along now and can feel the baby move. However, I can't shake the feeling my husband is starting to get second thoughts about the baby. My whole family hasn't been exactly supportive, atleast not the way they were with their other kids. I am starting to miss and wonder about my real parents a lot more often than usual. It is one thing to have your parents be happy for you when you tell them you are expecting your first baby, but when all they can say is that you should have waited or they hope you really aren't just so you can get insurance, it makes a girl wonder a little bit. One of my sisters even tried to tell me that it wasn't a baby I am carrying, but cancer instead. The rest of my family either doesn't know or has no opinion on the matter. I thought that by moving out, getting married, starting my own life, my parents would be proud of me. I don't feel it even if they are. I am so lost. To make matters worse, Josh (husband), is starting to show his dark side. He gets angry really quickly now a days. I don't know if it is from stress at work or what, but some days he has me scared for the safety of the baby. I am just so sad and alone. I guess it is just me against the world right now, me and my baby.