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| 01-11-2011 - A little confused and need to vent |
My mood while writing this blog: Confused |
Okay, so I am a little confused. So I found out a few days ago that I am expecting baby #3 right? Right, so here is the thing, DH has been talking about moving to Indiana to get a better job. And a big part of me thinks that he may not come back. So, I find out I am pregnant thinking that will change his train of thought, but it hasn't. He still wants to go. And so this confuses me. I would think that a new baby would encourage him to want to stay. Or maybe even me and the kids we have would. I was asked by my sister if he was still thinking about going and I said I didn't know. So I was a good wife and asked. I asked "are you still thinking about going?" His answer, "I don't know if I will go, but I know I still want to." Hmm, I doesn't know if he will but he knows he wants to. Isn't that kind of like the same thing? I mean he his here but his mind and heart are somewhere else. I don't know, maybe it is just pregnancy hormones. But maybe I am in the right here. Why do men have to be such dicks when it comes to this kind of crap?! I mean come on! Why does he, more importantly, have to do this when I am doing something that matters to me? I get pregnant, he gives me crap the day after the baby is born. I get pregnant again, he gives me crap when I get home. I decide to go to school to get my degree in Nursing, he gives me crap about that. And now, that I...Me...I choose to put my career on hold and have another baby, he wants to move and leave me here until at least November of next year, and that is if he comes back! I don't understand. This leaves me dumbfounded. I know I was born a blond but now, I have mostly blond with some brown. So not completely blond. I mean, AM I MISSING SOMETHING!!??!!??!! I am just tired of being married I guess. Maybe not even that, I am tired of a lazy husband. That is what I am tired of. He says he works hard everyday at Safeway in the produce section. But then he tells them he only wants 32 hours during the winter. He makes $8.25 an hour. Now I am not a genius but I know that he could make a little more if he was working 40 hours like he has been. But he has requested 3 days off a week...? I don't get 3 days off a week! I take care of the kids, then I go to class. Even when I have off, I don't get off. I know I can handle 3 kids. But I am so scared to handle 3 kids by my self. I know lots of people will say, Women have been doing this for years. But I am not other women. I am Brianne! I am me! And my kids deserve a daddy. No, not just a daddy, a good, loving daddy who loves them and wants to spend time with them. One who wants to take them trick or treating. I mean that really pissed me off today, or yesterday should I say. Josh had off today and yesterday and so we were going to do a little trick or treating in stores in town a quick little hour thing and he oped out of going! He was too lazy and claims he is around people all the time, they wouldn't miss him. I had to hold my tongue and not say that it isn't about him, it is about our kids! He needs to man up and grow a pair! I am not going to tell him that. So I told my sister what our son's name if it is a boy would be named and she freaked out on me. I told her if it is a boy he will be named Joshua Alan Miller Jr. She was all like, "he is your second! You can't name your second a Jr! That is just wrong. Your first will be jealous and that isn't right and you should be a better mom than to do something like that!" I know lots of people who name their third or fourth son a Jr. It doesn't have to be the first born! There is no Law saying it has to be the first born son named Jr. Well, I am going to head to bed. I have committed to watching my sisters kid early in the morning. Well, maybe one more episode of Grey's Anatomy ;)
4 Comments on A little confused and need to ventletthisonestick -
Saturday, 5 Nov Can you use his mother or a sibling to help "reinforce" what his responsibilities are? My husband's mom has been a great ally of mine. His sister to!! I think it's better to try to work it out, error on the side of love. Sounds like he's being a bit of an arse but, not uncorrectable. marie01234 -
Wednesday, 2 Nov I hope that he will realize that he is not treating you right. The main thing I worry about is you not being able to enjoy your children and pregnancy. Right now should be a wonderful time in your life and you should enjoy it. I don't want him to take away the enjoyment of your life with your kids. I would not waste my time worrying about him. He needs to take care of you. Since he is your husband.Enjoy your pregnancy and devote as little time as possible to the trouble he is causing you and your children. ingodstime -
Tuesday, 1 Nov I have no kids (yet)! But my husband would never tell me he wasn't going to do something with the animals when I asked him to. Most less when we have children, I can understand your confusion. He sounds like he needs a real eye opener. I will keep you in my prayers that something will make him open his eyes to what he is doing wrong. skylarsmommy18 -
Tuesday, 1 Nov Wow whats so good that far away??? Thats so messed up he shouldn't be acting like that I hope he does grow a pair and mans up for you and your alls children! Cause its going to happen weather he wants it to or not! Hope he mans up for ya hun good luck and best wishes to you! Lots of prays going your way! Oh and its ok to name whatever baby you want jr! or the 2nd or 3rd lol! My bfs the M. C. R. III and if we have a boy hes wanting to name him the 4th! So don't listen to your sis she be ok and love him just as much if you name him after daddy.