20-8-2009 - Oh where oh where is AF?

My mood while writing this blog: Frustrated!!

ughhhh so the first day of my last af was july 17th....i had been on the pill all before that and when i had gotten july's af i decided to come off the pill for various reasons but one of them NOT being to get pregnant. my husband and i have a 16mo old and as of right now were planning on maybe starting to try in the december/january time frame so that we could maybe have a halloween baby, and just that timeframe alone will be the time we need to start preparing for the second one and bri will maybe have begun or finished potty training by the time the baby was born. we have been using condoms and the one time we didnt use a condom he pulled out before any accidents could happen. sooooo..it is now august 20th, and even last time i went off the pill i never exceeded 30 days before af arrived...so naturally i took test after test ever since i realized i was late and nothing!!! all negative...and besides that i would have bouts of nausea, heartburn, and crazzyyy cramps as if af was coming at any moment...but NOTHING! no sign of her anywhere. i kept expecting to see her everytime i took a trip to the bathroom but still nothing. so once again i took another test this morning thinking it must be positive but nope i still see no second line, ive been having LOTS of cm both thick and creamy and thin and watery. and then this past time i went to the bathroom and there was the slightest tinge of pink in the cm but thats as close as ive gotten to af, and i still have crazy cramps so at the moment i have NO IDEA what to think..what do i think? i would love to be pregnant right now even though that wasnt the plan, but in a way it would be better if i wasnt so that we can take care of a couple of things before we started trying again...any ideas would be wonderful and any info on what could be goin on would be great thanks!!