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01-10-2009 - .....

My mood while writing this blog: ...

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.... I dont really know if I have anything to write or not....but Im going to try...First of all the miscarrage is complete..I went and had an ultrasound tonight and everything has passed on its own so thankfully no D&C again. My OB wants us to try to get PG again right away. He has ordered some bloodwork but it will take a few weeks to come back and he will call if anything comes back that needs to be addressed or treated. He said he will put me on Prometium the next time I am PG for the first 12 weeks Prometrium can sustain a pregnancy that would normally not be viable due to low progesterone levels. I have been refered to a Fertility Specialist but it could be a few months before I see her.... Thats about all I have to say for now....Oh and yesterday I got my fetal doppler in the mail that I had ordered when I was 6 weeks PG. The days are going by and I am getting through them but I feel really numb and I just hate the feeling of how life just keeps going on as normal and people think I should too but I cant. Family members and freinds make me feel like I should be jumping right back into life...Im not ready and I feel like the only person who understands (Besides all of you) is my family doctor. he has put me off on stress leave for at least 8 weeks. I am taking it but I feel like people around me think I should be fine sooner. I HATE this feeling I just cant explain all the feeling I have...

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6 Comments on .....


beckybear - Saturday, 3 Oct
Amanda, we are here for you and we do understand. I think you should take all the time you need off work and let your heart and your body heal. {hugs}

butterfly-angel - Friday, 2 Oct
Amanda - I am so sorry - my heart breaks for you. Those who have not gone through a loss have no idea...Remember I am here for you - whenever you need me. Thinking of you ~Hugs~ xxx

2krazekdz - Friday, 2 Oct
Anyone who thinks you should be "getting over this" and "moving on" is ignorant in the worst, most insensitive way, regardless of how "well" they mean. You've lost a child, regardless of how early, and that's not something you "get over." Take your time and do what YOU need to do to get through. I'm sending all my hopes and prayers your way.

readyfor2 - Thursday, 1 Oct
I am sorry you have to go through this again. It hurts so much. People just don't understand unless they gone through this tragedy themselves. Do what you need to do hun takes those 8 weeks, you need it. I am always here to listen if you need to talk or vent or anything! x

roosa - Thursday, 1 Oct
I am so sorry you are having to go through this. Please be good to yourself and allow yourself to feel what you feel for as long as you feel it. Letting others pressuring you into looking okay only makes things worse in the long run, I have been there... Know that is it okay and it is normal to feel how you feel. It takes time. One thing that did help me was journaling. It was an outlet for me and all my feelings that I felt were too strong to share with others. They are still your feelings though. I am here for you if you need someone to talk to or vent to. I have also written a pamphlet about 'pregnancy loss and support' which is a helpful tool to give to your nearest family and friends to know what you are going through and how to help you. Please let me know if you want me to email you a copy. Thinking of you and hurting for you. Love, Karin

averysfairytale - Thursday, 1 Oct
I am so sorry hun but please know that we are all with you. Please feel free to vent to us and let us know if there is anything we can possibly do to help you get through this time. I will be thinking of you and praying for you!