06-10-2008 - 10-06-08

My mood while writing this blog: shocked/tired

So after my long weekend in bed. I went to work today until noon then I had to leave for a Dr. appt. When I got there I thought I could tell him I am fine and everything would be ok. He checked her heartbeat it was good in the 160's then he told me he was going to check my cervix. After doing so he said that it feels like my cervix has thinned since last week. So back on bedrest I go. This time at least for a couple of weeks. I have to go see my dr. weekly now. He gave me more meds to help with contractions and I have to go for another ultrasound so they can measure my cervix. I was so shocked that all of this happened today. I thought that I would be fine and I could go back to work.

I really wanted to enjoy this pregnancy since my husband is getting fixed after this one. I am still going to try to do so but I really don't know what is going to happen now with my job. My mom says legally with a Dr note they can't fire me but one girl said that they do not have to give me my position back or the pay that I was making. Im freaking out! Not that long ago my husband son and I moved into my moms so we could stay a few months to buy a house. My husband makes good money but with both of us making money it was so much easier for us to save. Now I don't even think we will be able to get a house before she is here. Which leads to my next concern. My baby will be taken care of but I wanted her to have her own room to come home to and for my son to have his room back. None of this is going to happen and it is very depressing.Also, with my son I had medicaid and everything was for free but with him I had no problems. Now with her I am having every possible problem and I am paying out the ass for it. I know that I have to do what is best for my lil girl. I am trying, it is just so hard to lay around not do anything, fear about loosing my job, medical bills, and now not having our own place in time.

I pray everything will be ok for us and all of you other mommies having trouble right now. I go to my ultrasound on Wednesday so we will see how things look.