30-3-2009 - Update on everything

My mood while writing this blog: content

First my life.... My husband and I split up right after we got a house on land contract. I moved out and into a house with one of my friends, she has 3 kids. My husband and I would fight all of the time and I just had enough. We have been on and off for almost 5 years now. I would stay if it was just me but it's not my kids don't need to see their parents fight all the time. So here I am... living at my friends house. It's what I have to do right now. I had a place at my moms but I wanted that feeling of being somewhat on my own. My friend works second shift and I am first so we have our alone time as well. It is a but overwhelming when we are all together cuz with my 2 thats 5 kids in a three bedroom house. I hate this situation in my life but I'm trying to do what is best. By staying with her rent is cheap so I can save money as well. I planned on moving out in a year. Being there only a wk now I say 6 months I want to have my own place. This is better because here I am not tied into anything. This will just give me a jump start and get things goin for me and my kids. My name is still on that land contract so I need to get my names taken off on things as well. A part of me still wants to be with my husband cuz I love him dearly we just never get a long and it's frustrating. I am not ready for a divorce just yet though but also not ready to be with him again either. I'm hoping over time it will get easier. My friend is going through a divorce and us living together will help a lot.

MASON: He is doing awsome as a big brother. He is so helpful. He is still going to pre-school 3 times a week and he will be going to his dads everyother weekend. Next year I plan on starting him in kindergarten and that is another reason why I need to get my life straight so when he starts school I won't have to switch him ever. I love him so much and he is the best child.

ASHLYNN-Ashlynn is getting so big so fast. She had her 2 month appointment last Tuesday (24th). I felt so bad when she had to get her shots. She is 11lbs 12 oz now. I put her to bed at 9 and she usually sleeps until 3 am then I take her to the sitters in the morn (my g-ma) and sometimes she will sleep through the night. I have to work full time so I miss a lot w/ both my kids which is sad but staying home is not an option for me. I'm looking now to find them a sitter since my g-ma is getting a bit older I don't want to wear her out with a full time baby and part time 4 yr old.This is by far so hard because I do not trust anyone with my kids but I'm hoping for the best. She was coliky there for awhile, now she is slowly getting over it. She is starting to laugh and coo a lot more. I just love these kids. They are my life.

I will be posting pictures here soon. I hope everyone is doing well!!