26-12-2009 - Manic stage

My mood while writing this blog: Ok

Manic Stage?

Five years ago I was diagnosed as having Bi-polar disorder. Go ahead think that I'm a pshyco bitch....
Well now I am battling nights of tossing and turning and not being able to sleep. I was diagnosed while transiting from foster and group homes, So I thought the battle was over. I thought the crying for no reason nights were gone. Well I'm just as wrong. There are days that go by that laundry piles up because all I do is spend time with my kids, cherishing every moment. Then there are day that go by that I don't clean at all and I feel horrible when people pop up and see that there's clothes everywhere or the laundry and dishes aren't done. Those are the depressive stages that I go through. I am a great mother I put my kids first and myself last. Maybe it's time to put me first to care for myself. But as any mother out there would say, "I have no time for me."

This past week, with my husbannd being home, I have been doing NOTHING but cleaning. Like seriously when is my laundry done, and actually put away. When is my bathroom really spotless? Or my bedroom smelling good. I mean come on...
I have been cleaning for the past week non stop. I threw away four big garbage bags of junk, SIX big black bags of clothes and random stuff we didn't need. What else is there to do?

Sleep has been an issue for the last four nights. I took tyelnol pm one night and it did nothing for me! No sleep. The last time this happened was JAN of 2005, I didn't sleep for four nights straight. My eyes burn and I feel like crap, but I can't sleep. It really sucks....Well back to my cleaning and taking care of my kids. =] Bye internet!

WWW.MCBENDER4.COM