MommaBell's I-am-pregnantblog

MommaBell
	Age: 31 Country: Province/region: virginia City: Partner: Children: Yes, 3 Pregnant: No Occupation: HOMEMAKER / FULL TIME STUDENT
	Online: 8 days ago. Last updated: 35 days ago. Member since: 1560 days
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17-8-2009 - Lost

My mood while writing this blog:
hopeless

This is absolutely nothing pregnancy or baby related. I just need to vent and I am tired of talking to people in person. Everyone around us has the perfect "solution" to our problems, but no one knows how to actually do it. We have been under financial strains for almost a year now, and every month slowly and painfully gets worse ans worse. I can not talk about God right now, other than to say, he has totally abandoned us or He hates us. We have prayed nonstop and absolutely nothing. We have been open for anything, and still nothing. I just want to give up, but how? You have to keep going in this miserable world, even if it sucks. Chris has had horrific back problems for at least 8 months, but still works, even though work is at a slow crawl. We spent all of this time, money, and energy to get him an MRI, just for the doctor to say it's not a slipped disk or pinched nerve, its just his spine. There is nothing to be done about, except to live with the pain. The doctor actually told him that was good news! Our whole livelihood is based on Chris doing heavy labor. The doctor told him he would just have to deal with it and take some Aspirin!! There are days where he can barely walk!! I am so frustrated! Then where we live there are no jobs, everyone is getting laid off, and if we move away I will miss on my grants for school. We feel so incredibly stuck, and we are so poor it is not even funny. We have never been spenders, almost everything we own was given to us used. What have we done to deserve this?? Nothing! We give money to our church every week, and we used to give money to church functions. Well guess where that got us? Nowhere, but I tell you what, we could definitely use that money now. Well, sorry, to be so negative, I just needed to vent before I explode. Everyone keeps saying that Chris needs to find a job even if he thinks it's beneath him, like being a janitor or something. Like he ever said he wouldn't be a janitor!! There are no jobs around here!! and then when we talk about moving away, people say, "well don't do that!"
I am surrounded by idiots!

5 Comments on Lost

RainbowRach - Tuesday, 18 Aug
Im so sorry to hear of the difficult situation you are in. I hope you find a solution and a way forward soon. I know this is not what you want to hear right now as it doesnt pay the bills......in many ways you are the richest person in the world with a loving DH and a wonderful family x Hang in there babe ((hug))

ren - Monday, 17 Aug
I am really sorry that things have gotten to that point. If you give to your church weekly, can they not give back to you?? Thats what the money is for!! I recommend to stop giving them money. The church will be fine, you need to survive!!! If your husband has to take a job that is not ideal, he is not less of a man. I think it makes him a better man. He is doing what is necessary to take care of himself and his family. There is no shame in being a janitor. I love my janitor at work!! I really hope that things will turn around for you and you can begin to see a positive in your life. stay strong for the kids (which Im sure you are doing). This probably means nothing, but you will deffinatly be in my thoughts and prayers.

KittenAsACat - Monday, 17 Aug
i'm so very sorry to hear of your troubles. i can relate. isn't it so frustrating that there are people all around you being shady/illegal/irresponsible and getting by just fine and you're an honest family just trying to make a good life for yourselves? exactly what me and my SO are going through. our financial strain became so bad we were homeless and now are still together in our relationship but are physically separated as i had to come back to live with my family while he continues a daily struggle to find work and get our family back together. i feel stuck, and hopeless, and yet still must be strong every day for my 1 year old son and my soon to be born son. So honey, you arent alone, if you ever need someone to talk to, i'd be glad to listen.

mckrush - Monday, 17 Aug
giving money to a church is your first mistake id go straight down there let them know id like some of it back now please.........

mmyof3angels - Monday, 17 Aug
I can completely relate to the financial strain...hubby and I are in the same boat, and all we do is fight. I have taken a mini pay cut when I changed jobs back in 07, and poor DH works his a$$ off and it goes to bills. We literally live pay check to pay check and I am not scared to say we have $30 in our checking to last us 2 weeks! I have given up so many things to help meet bills, but he has some of the most expensive habits....hockey $500 a season!!, A motorcycle, had to have a new helmet and jacket $350, plus the $4k for the bike...I am pulling my hair out!! Plus not to mention the TV he had to have!! Its frustrating...I have given up petty stuff, like nails, tanning, shopping, spa days, etc to save money. Its extremely frustrating, and now we have medical bills. I want to SAVE $$, so that when baby gets here we are set and stable...I actually took a step myself and made an appt to go meet with a financial advisor, I cant take it anymore. I hate being broke. Chin up darling, I know its hard to believe, but things WILL get better!! xoxo

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