16-10-2008 - OUTRAGED

My mood while writing this blog: Very Upset!

First of all in case you didn't know...October is breast cancer awareness month! With that being said, let me just give you a quick synopsis of my life...My Mother was diagnosed with stage four breast cancer on January 16, 2002 right at 1:00pm. I remember that day like it was yesterday. I've relived it over and over a million times in my mind. From that day on she was in and out of hospitals on a daily basis. I watched my Mother, the fighter, the one who did everything for us struggle. She struggled to breathe, to bathe to eat, to live. She never healed. Not one time did we see a glimpse of hope. I was just 19 and I was just getting to know my Mother as a friend and not just a parent. How could this happen to us? Anyway, I watched my Mom get all of her hair cut into a cute bob. She never once had her hair cut above her shoulder so that was hard to see. But she would have rathered see it come off in shorter lengths than in longer ones. I took this very hard, but I didn't even know how to deal with it or how to accept the fact that my Mom was dying. I just went on with my life, stayed in college, got crappy grades because all I could think about was my Mom. She encouraged me to stay in school and get my degree. (GRADUATED DEC. 2007) Everyone else couldn't believe that I didn't drop out to stay by her side. And I admit, to this day I even regret not doing so, but My Dad, who was never good for anything until this point was with her every second (and that's one of the only reasons I still claim him!) Anyway, I promise I am getting to the point as to why I'm so angry at the moment! For seven months my Mom struggled with chemo, and her swollen arms. Her wound from her biopsy NEVER healed. She lost all of her hair, her eyes began to sink and she looked so pathetic. She wore little caps on her bald head and she even had a pretty nifty wig! But most importantly, her smile never faded. No matter how much pain she was in and even when she was too drug induced to know what was going on, she never stopped smiling. On July 22, 2002 My Mom passed away in our home. I was actually 1 mile away house sitting for my boss and getting ready to go to work when I got the call. I didn't make it home before she took her last breath and I still get very upset about that even though things happen for reasons, I'll never understand why I didn't get to say goodbye that morning. My loving Mother, my angel, my strength and my courage, at only 47 years old was diagnosed with breast cancer and passed away within 7 months! I can't even imagine what went on in her head during this time. SOOOOOOOOOOOOO on to what angers me.... go ahead and google SUZY BASS. She is a lady from somewhere in Georgia, Alabama area. AOL did a piece on her today. She was a school teacher who scammed 3 different schools into believing she was dying of breast cancer! All along she was perfectly fine, physically. Which is more than I can say about her mental state. I'm writing this blog because I have no way to contact her and if I did, I would write to her... It's so disgusting to see her FAKE such a thing that has devastated families all over the world. She is diagnosed with bipolar disorder.... Trust me, if I could trade her life to have my Mother back for one day, I would. I had to get married without my Mom by my side, I'll have my baby without my Mom. My Son won't have a grandmother because of cancer. I think it's so sad that this woman had to fool so many people when nothing as ever wrong with her. If she only knew what REAL women have to go through when they are diagnosed with this. And they now blame it on bipolar.....its unexcusable, its sick and I think she needs to live one day in the shoes of a cancer patient. I don't feel sorry for her and I believe that she knew full and well what she was doing! So here's to you MOM! I love you and miss you and wish you were here with me today! For the bitch in Alabama....pray we never met face to face!

IN LOVING MEMORY OF ROSE C. LEE