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| 06-4-2009 - Stressed |
My mood while writing this blog: Worried |
So today I had my usual NST test. Like the past few test they keep saying that my baby isn't keeping her HR up for long enough. The 1st time they said it was because I didn't eat enough, then they said I was dehydrated. Well, today I had a full meal and I'm drinking a min. of 68-80oz of just water a day, not including any juices. These test should normally only take 20min., but today I was on there for an hour and a half! Finally, they came in my room and said they have everything they needed and that I was free to go.
Meanwhile, my husband has been out in the waiting room with my son freaking out. He's asking what's going on, and what do they plan to do, and so on. My husband is normally a very calm person, but lately he has become very stressed out. So he's asking me all of these technical question (he's very analytical) and I couldn't answer them. So he drove the whole way home and anyone said a word. I called my OB when I got home to see if I could get a better understanding as to what's going on. My husband gave me a kiss and went back to work still without saying a word.
As soon as he left I just started crying my eyes out. I'm just as stressed as he is! I've lost a baby at 22wks, and my son was born at 32wks so I'm always on pins and needles. I don't need the extra stress from him. Maybe, I'm more emotional then I would normally be because of all the hormones running through my body. He just made me feel like I wasn't doing enough or asking enough questions so I could get better answers about whats going on with our baby.
We have made it so far and I'm so excited! I just want my baby to be healthy, and if there is a problem tell me how to fix it. I'm feeling alone right now and I know that is not his intentions.
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