14-1-2009 - 5w3d

My mood while writing this blog: tired

I woke up this morning and my husband kept putting his hand on my belly and saying "my baby's in there!" he was so cute! But I was tired so it only became cute after I've been awake for a while. Last week my pants weren't fitting me because my stomach was pooching out a little. Now it's back to normal which is good. I'm not supposed to have put on any weight yet and in fact I've lost a few pounds since I go to the gym every day starting at the end of December, actually on the day we conceived (but I didn't know it yet.) I am determined to only gain the weight that my baby needs and not much more, if any. My mom lost weight in the begining and then gained way too much at the end and then never lost it. She sill has a lot of excess weight that she's carried around for twenty six years. I had gained about five pounds this Christmas season and my husband was not happy about it so we started going to work out. I don't think he would be happy with me carrying around baby weight after the birth. My weight has spawned many a tearful arguement. He does not want me to be overweight, he won't leave me but he will make my life miserable if I am. My mom lost the weight because she had morning sickness, but I don't have it and I'm hoping to keep it that way. I'm also hoping that I won't get the weird cravings because I know that is a real culpret of weight gain. My boss at the video store was so sure that I would be a bitchy pregnant lady, getting cravings and sending my husband out for different things. The thing is, if I spend a lot of money on take out food and cravings, I won't be able to stay home from work when the baby comes and that, to me is way more important than satisfying cravings. She bet me $100 that I would have the cravings and my husband has to say whether or not I was nutty.

Anyway, the point is that I'm not going to use this pregnancy as an excuse to do whatever I want. I still have my principles and beliefs and I don't want to sacrifice them. I want to have some integrity to pass on to my baby.