they say age is just a number, and as i lay in my bed, just wanting that extra five minutes of sleep while my daughter plays away, i remember having the pleasure of running. just running everywhere. run to the grocery store, run to where your father parked the car.run ahead to the door to your cousins' home for a visit. run at the beach, park, play-yard, run till you're out of breath and your cheeks feel hot. its a great feeling, you're out of breath and excited. life feels great from all that endorphins released from the exercise but you dont know that thats what it is, you just love to run. and you see all those adults, sitting and talking and talking and hardly movingb and you think how boring their life must be, and i swore to myself, no matter how old i get i will always run, unlike my parents and all the slow grown ups i see around me.

i'd somehow forgotten that until i had my daughter and suddenly, she brings me face to face with my seven year old self. i think i've let her down, that girl, i dont know what she'd think if she saw me now.

just seeing things from an adult height slows you somehow. i dont know why that is. i dont know if its true for others.

yes, age is just a number. you can be as young as you feel inside. i do too... i dont feel 30. (ok,ok, 31. 32 next april). up until i had my child, i felt, ohh, about 25 internally, and acted like it too.. i felt i could still do things younger than myself. take up a new hobby, get back to a masters in education, do something new on a vacation, and meet interesting ppl, all the things that keep you young.
i can still do these things, but i no longer feel 25 internally. i know my age now, more than ever, i know that i'm not 'young'. what is young? i'm young to a 45-50 year old perhaps. certainly to a 60 year old.

i tried watersking and snorkeling for the first time on vacation this year, parasailed and learned archery in the last year, i jog and did yoga before i had my baby. i joined a young mum's group that get together frequently and do creative arts and crafts like scrapbooking. i have never in my life been overweight. (Until pregnancy i guess). yet none of those things made me feel like how it felt simply to run with abandon as a child. its not just about feeling young and doing young things.... BEING young is an irreplacable experience. by heading ot the park for a jog, you're just an adult on a jog. maybe other moms reading this may disagree... i would like to know what their thoughts are on this...

i remmember being 24 and thinking i'm old and now i know that wasnt true. perhaps its not true even now. but i've got a bonny bouncing baby in my lap, and somehow nothing compares to her dewy fresh skin, bright eyes and unused feet. everything is new, and waiting to be put to work. to laugh and play and fall and hurt and get up and run.

maybe i will chase her someday and she'll squeal and laugh from the excitement children feel on being chased. and when we play together, i'll remember again how it felt to just have fun running.