Members

As a member you'll be able to receive and send messages, keep your own photobook, agenda, ask questions, participate in the chat, and make new friends. All is free and you don't need email.
Sign up (free & anonymous)

Name: Password:

---

Activity
• Now online | Member search | New members | Comment Spy
• New blogs & Questions | Recently updated profiles
• New photos: Pregnancy | Babies | Bellies | Ultrasound | Member pages
• Latest comments: Forums | Week by week | Baby development

Write a new blog

---

20-7-2008 - Marriage after a Baby

My mood while writing this blog: Ok

---

Well this doesnt really have anything to do with my baby girl but I just felt like spelling it out anyways. I know its not the first time to happen in the history of mankind, but having this baby has really done a number on my marriage. I used to think we were a great, connected set of partners, a very strong couple with great communication skills. Baloney.... I dont know WHAT happened, but something has changed completely and forever.

Of course a lot of the attention I used to focus on him has shifted to her, and the attention and affection he used to show to me has also been redirected. I love to see him with her, but I also regret not basking in the light of his love anymore... sounds so selfish but its true. I do miss the old days when it was just us and we were like puppies in the sun, always playful and happy and in love. Now there's so many different and difficult things going on in both our lives sometimes I wonder if I'm actually married to this stranger... and sex? whats that? all the alarm bells that I thought I'd steer clear of when I have a baby, I have fallen into all those traps. If only I'd listened to Cosmo... make time for your partner, have a bubble bath together, leave the baby for a romantic evening out.. blah blah blah... I know all those lines. And we've even made time for each other: one romantic dinner, two walks, two late night movies, and yet we are like strangers when we turn our backs to each other and go to sleep at night. Why did this happen? The sudden shock of the bleeding, the hospital stay, our baby coming out of the blue... it turned us from partners into parents. We've suddenly become so serious. Its liek my husband doesnt remember anymore who I am in his life... he used to wait to come home and hug me, now he barely looks in my direction.

:( I hope there's a change for the better soon... i'm working on it. but the darn thing is as soon as i put her down for a nap and we sit down for a chat, she wakes up screaming to be burped or fed. i can see my husband looking patiently on, waiting for us to resume our convesation and then giving up and quietly going to another room to do something else... and with him goes another little piece of my marriage. but what else is the option?

As a child, and a teenager growing up, I used to wonder why adults always looked so serious and burdened, like they couldnt even see the clear blue skies or how the sun lit up the day or how carefree it felt to be alive. Well now i know why they looked like that. and why they used to look at me with a sense of seeing something they lost.

well here i am complaining about the best gift God has given me. She is my light, my life, and my whole world. I miss who I used to be. But I guess, I love her more. :)

---

1 Comments on Marriage after a Baby


Boobah815 - Thursday, 24 Jul
I am so sorry to hear that things aren't going as you planned. I won't insult you by saying I know what you're going through (I haven't been blessed with a child yet) but I can sympathize because you articulated your concerns very well. As hard as it may be you need to make time for your partner... even if time means time that you spend together with your child. It's no secret that relationships are hard work... period. So when you add a child to the mix and subtract sex.. it makes it even harder. you should talk to him and explain how you feel and get a complete understanding of how he feels. This is new to you both. A major factor in a relationship is communication. Even though you have a baby FIND time for your relationship.. also find time for yourself. I understand that it may be extremely difficult but start small... baby steps... things will get easier in the long run. Good luck!!