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PAllenbaby
	Age: 24 Country: USA Province/region: Utah City: Salt Lake Partner: Married-Brian Children: Yes, 1 Pregnant: Not anymore Occupation: ICU Nurse
	Online: More than 3 months ago Last updated: 841 days ago. Member since: 1039 days
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07-12-2009 - WHAT NOT TO say to me!

My mood while writing this blog:
ha ha

So here are some tips on what to do and say (or NOT do and say) to a woman who has just had a child. Yes, I came up with this stuff all on my own. I even had to add more to the list!!!!

1) Do NOT tell her how you know a girl, who just had a baby too, that looks exactly the same as she did before she got pregnant. Hello? Did you tell me this to make me feel bad? And DO NOT say this after she tells you how hard it is going to be to lose all the extra weight she has.

2) Do not ask her if she is breastfeeding. It is none of your business what she decides to do with her nipples.

3) Do not tell her how you want kids one day, but don’t want to give up your body….because she will for sure feel like you are telling her she gave up her body.

4) Unless she decides to tell you, do not ask how the labor was….

5) …and on that same note… If you are close enough to her that she tells you her birth story, don’t proceed to tell her how little Ethan came out in two pushes, no tearing and looked beautiful. She is telling the story, not you. All she wants is a little empathy. Jerk.

6) Do not tell her about all of the fun trips you have planned with the girls next month. She knows having this baby would change those sorts of things, but right now may not be a good time to talk about it.

7) And while on the subject of going out...please do not forget to invite the poor girl to friend functions! Just because she has a baby does not mean she fell off this earth and has no desire to go out. Even if you KNOW she won't come, please invite her!

8) Do: Tell her she looks great. She is undoubtedly bigger than normal and surely knows it. Tell her this even if she looks like a beluga whale.

9) Tell her that her baby is the cutest thing you have ever seen. Put on a good act if you think the baby is ugly. And to make it more believable OOHS and AWES are greatly appreciated too.

10) Do not ask her if sex has changed or how sex is now. Chances are that if it is within the first two months, she hasn’t even had sex yet and she is terrified that it may be different too.

11) She does not want to hear all of your advice on how much the baby should be sleeping and how little Ethan slept through the night, every night, at 5 weeks old. She may begin to obsess about it and think something is wrong with her baby

12) When she has to go back to work, please don't give the "I'm so sorry you have to work and be a mom. How terrible" UMMM...not all of us are money bags. I have to work so back off okay? Please don't make it harder for me.

13) DO NOT tell her how suprised you are at what a good job she is doing as a mom. This will be taken offensively. Do not tell her how she was the last person on this planet that you thought would have a child even if you are meaning it to be a compliment. So...basically you thing I was going to be a f*ck up as a mother?

And the TOP thing a PostPartum woman NEVER wants to hear is:

14) WHEN ARE YOU DUE? (so this would obviously come from a stranger…worst fear of mine...hasn't happened but still...)

8 Comments on WHAT NOT TO say to me!

aileenc0 - Wednesday, 10 Feb
So true.

-airforcewife- - Friday, 25 Dec
Love this!!! Yes, I am 3 months post partum and I am NOT in my pre preggo jeans yet. Piss on all the women that are able to get back into them at 6 wks pp. Not fair!!! I have 10 lb to go and I am working on it, but it took 9 months to put on the weight its not supposed to come off over night! Thanks for writing this blog and putting idiots in their place!

kickboxerbaby - Tuesday, 8 Dec
I love it. For me though I would have to add never ever ask a post partum women how her husband has taken to mother hood. By week 3 the novelty had warn off so he was no longer being as helpful. My lack of sleep and anger about the situation I really just wanted to choke the person asking!

SPUDinTHEoven (Tina) - Tuesday, 8 Dec
Haha, this list is spot on! People are sooo clueless!!! I might also add: If you offer to help watch the baby whenever I may need a break from the stress, and I take you up on that offer ONE time- Don't hold it over my head every time I see you after that and constantly bring it up, It only makes me feel like a bad mom. Leave the past in the past and focus on the positive happening here and now!

Peachy09 (Ashlyn) - Tuesday, 8 Dec
Love your list!

crowned-mom2be - Monday, 7 Dec
i luv your list .. believe it or not once i came out of the operation room after the cesarian my sister told me "are you sure they took the baby out and there isn't another one inside" !!!

lovinglayla - Monday, 7 Dec
and dont assume that she is gonna want or need your help befor the baby even gets here...my mother and the in laws sure have alot of plans for MY baby, they are gonna be in for a rude awakening when she gets here lol

foxitiger76 (Jill) - Monday, 7 Dec
LOL...Pam you are hilarious!!!I agree 100%

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