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19-4-2008 - AFTER BIRTH

My mood while writing this blog: I DONT KNOW!!! STOP ASKING ME QUESTIONS AND LET ME WRITE MY BLOG!!!

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Sooooo....So much has happend after I gave birth. We went through the chance of Perris have Cysistic Fibrosis and overcame it. We also went through the DNA test with his father and overcame that. We've been through alot and soo many good things have happend and so many not so good things. Things with Perris' father and I are great. Better than I could imagine. We have been doing some "things" that we should not be doing because he has a girlfriend but hey, im irreistable, what more can I say. He loves Perris and his family adores Perris also. He has really done a 360 and its like he is not even the same person I was when I was pregnant. He is easier to talk to, egar to listen, fun to be around and low key...***dont tell nobody***....I think I "L...iiiii...kkkkk...E" him and I think...well I know...He feelin me too...He just has to...IM QB!! But a friend made a good point. She said that we need rto establish what kind of relationship we have because I dont want to be his "sideline" forever. "So to keep from blocking my blessing I think I better back up, Last thing a nigga need now is bad luck...But if my life was perfect...I woulda had him" At first I felt like it was ok to mess around with him because we have a child together and I just "DIVORCED" someone who I was dating for some years and Im doing me, but at the end of the day its not a good look. Or is It??

Well His GF and I are cool. She's really sweet and at times I feel sorry for her but she decided to stay with him after he cheated the first time. But I see why he loves her and she loves him. He loves her because she's sweet. Very easy to love, doesn't argue or fuss. He had another baby outside of there boyfriend/girlfriend relationship and she STAYED BY HIS SIDE!! She's EASY and not in a sexual sense. He has never met anyone like me. Anyone who will challange his mind. Make him think. Make him open his eyes and realize that because you see "normal" everday doesn't mean you have to live that life also. Think outside the box. Stop dealing with boring. Im tempting...and with words I could have slipping on his tounge tryna get to me. I told him he wasnt ready for that though. He wants to stay with whats safe and if thats the case then he needs to continue doing what he is doing. Im different, far from boring, far from average, far from normal. Im more than the girl who wants to get married, be a school teacher and have his kids. I told him....I CAN CHANGE YOUR LIFE....but you not ready. I see in his eyes that he wants more than whats in front of him but he is so use to safe that he feels stuck...I know this might sound extremely crazy but I know...I swear I do...

Well anway....Wed. I started having some really bad pains in my abdomen. EXTREMELY BAD PAIN. I was frozen in pain. I told my mom that night that I needed to go to the hospital but she said take some medicine and if you still feel the same in the morning we will go. I feel asleep and the next morning I woke up the pain was WORSE!! We go to the ER and the check my urine, give me a pregnancy test, give me and ultrasound, draw blood, and do a pelvic exam. My Pregnancy test was negative, blood was fine, pelvic was fine, but they noticed wierd things going on with my uterus. They told me that the think I may have endometreosis. I was shocked because I never had pain with periods or alot of bleeding but since I had perris everything has changed. Withmy cycles I feel alot of pressure. Almost as if my uterus is going to fall out...lol....The pain is unberable!! In the hospital they gave me morphine and I still felt all the pain. It was worse than labor. I honestly could not move. They wanted to keep me there but I hate hospital stays so I asked to go home. They gave me a prescription for some vicodan and Ibuprofen. I hate pain meds so I wasnt going to take them, then I gave in. I couldnt even hold my son. I feel a little better. I can walk now and move around so I dont think im taking anymore of the Vicodan but ill continue taking the Ibuprofen. I have to follow up with the Ob to see whats really going on with me. I had a perfect uneventful pregnancy and birth but everything is happening to me afterwards!! GOSH!! Can I get a break....lol

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