ParkerNHarpersMom's I-am-pregnantblog

ParkerNHarpersMom
	Age: 25 Country: Canada Province/region: Alberta City: Ardmore Partner: Rohdy Children: Yes, 2 Pregnant: No Occupation: Super Mom
	Online: More than 3 months ago Last updated: 886 days ago. Member since: 1231 days
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18-5-2009 - Broke up with Harper's Dad

My mood while writing this blog:
relieved and sad.

If any of you has been following my blogs, you know that I've been having some relationship issues.

It's been a very hard decision to leave my daughter's father when she isn't even born yet, but it was a long time coming.

I just wasn't in love with him anymore after all the things we'd been through. He was a very controlling and jealous/obsessive person. He always relied on me to create his mood. If he wasn't happy, it was like my job to MAKE him happy, which I don't feel was very healthy...

Not to mention all the jealousy crap he has pulled, which I'm not about the re-explain. He has, in the past, had a drug and drinking problem. He stopped alot of that crap when he met me, and stopped drinking all together when I got pregnant. But he has started up again...not too sure about the drugs.

I'm just so sad for my daughter because I don't want her to miss out on both her parents, but I want to make sure it's a healthy environment.

I also am a little scared she will hold it against me that I left her father. I went through a very traumatic childhood with divorced parents who were just nasty to each other and I always felt like it was somehow my fault :(

I dunno, I just had to vent.

Any words of encouragement are welcome.

11 Comments on Broke up with Harper's Dad

andbabymakes6 - Thursday, 3 Sep
Im commenting kinda late on this blog but I wanted to tell you, I was married to a man like this... I did the opposite of you, I stuck it out, and had 2 children and decided that my kids needed both parents... turns out, they didnt! At the ages of 13 and 14, both of my girls shared with me how miserable they have felt at times having to live with their father... OUCH!!! So I divorced him! Things are so much better now and I have moved on and am pregnant by a man I love and WANT to be with... My 1 daughter does act alot like her father and sometimes cries because she HATES being like him... You are doing the right thing, I wish I had YOUR courage 16 yrs ago!

Cailet - Tuesday, 19 May
You should never stay with someone if you know you don't love them and things can't be worked out. The best thing you can do is take care of yourself and your daughter. Hopefully you can have a cordial relationship with her dad, so you don't have to repeat the mistakes that your parents made. if you guys can find a way to be civil to each other after she's born, it will make her life a lot easier

supaflychick1982 - Tuesday, 19 May
I think you did the right thing, your heart wasn't in it, and you two aren't compatible. I've been in a relationship where there were fights and arguments and I think that is worse than being a single parent. Maybe you two won't be so bad apart and she'll accept that. My daughter does and she's as sweet as pie. I don't tell her about her father and my relationship, she'll see when she gets older.

notnottrying - Tuesday, 19 May
You knew in your heart it was the right thing to do... Dont second guess yourself at all. in the end, it will be better for both you and your baby to move on with life, and find someone who will love you both in a healthy and stable way. Take Care

roxy26 - Monday, 18 May
I think that it's better for harper to not grow up watching you two fight and argue and him being controlling. As long as you dont trash talk him to her and let her get to know him on her own then I think everything will be ok. Trust me, your doing the right thing!!! If your not happy she will be able to tell by the way you act around him and everyone else. Everything will work out!

RiaDia - Monday, 18 May
You did what you needed to do!! It's a very hard process to go through. I don't think she will hate you!! You need to do what is best for you & your baby emotionally & physically. Try to relax you dont need to be stressing yourself out about it. My husband & I are working through issues as well. I'm definatly here for you any time you need to talk. Our problem was the same but with only alcohol, We had the trust issue because of his jelousy too. I understand where you are comming from. I'm always here!!

Gigantor - Monday, 18 May
She won't hold it against you. You'll be her primary caretaker, her mother she will love you and one day she understands you.
Best of luck to you!

bernadette825 - Monday, 18 May
I left my first childs father when he was 3 months old. People gave me a lot of crap about this and I gave myself a good bit too. I stuck to my guns though because I didn't want my child to think miserable was a way of life. The real work came with trying to get along and find a way to co parent. We had a rough few years, but in the end it has all worked out. I even went to his wedding a few weeks ago! My son is 11 now and I don't think he ever missed what he didn't know. Good luck, you're doing the right thing!

michelle5288 - Monday, 18 May
Aww trust me sweetie you're doing the right thing as long as you know that's what's best for your daughter. Take it from me... I'm 21 and my parents are going through a nasty time and I'm having such a harder time dealing than if they'd have just split early. Cause now I feel like I had a "fake" family life. I'm sure harper will know you did everything cause you love her and cause it was what's best. I have faith in you and you'll be ok! Chin up and hooray for the strong moms like you!

jeanine - Monday, 18 May
You can do it!, if you feel in your heart it was the best choice then it most likely is. I agree on bringing her into a healthy environment, it's not alway's easy to adjust however when time goes by it'll get a little easier. ( n probably sometimes hard because ur pregnant)have faith in yourself and just remember the reason u made the decision. I hope this help's....:)

Marzupial912 - Monday, 18 May
Hey... YOU are her MOMMY. That means you know what's best for her! Don't second guess a very imprtant decision you made to keep your children safe and happy!

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