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25-11-2009 - Fighting with DH

My mood while writing this blog: Feeling blue

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HI Ladies, I have 2 issues that I want to share with u. First is that my LO used to sleep thru the nite,now at 4.5 months, she is waking up and "playing". I can't let her try to put herself back to sleep, as we all sleep in the same room and DH is doing extra hours this week and he needs his sleep. So I have to bring her out in the living room and hang with her. Last nite she was up from 11:50 to 3:30am. tonite she is still up. it is 10:30pm. she had a nap from 8to 8:30. She usually sleeps at 8, but she deceided to wake up tonite. The next issue is with me and DH. I am so frustrated and tired. I don't get time to do nothing for myself. My hair is a mess, and I don't get to take a shower most days until he gets home. Even if I do, I am not able to do much with myself, except to wash my hair and tie it back. Also there is not enough time to do all the house work and keep the home the way we used to before. DH is getting mad at me for all these things, telling me that I have one child and I am unable to do these things. See his mom had 6 and was able to take care of them and the home. Ladies I am so frustrated that when he calls home for lunch we fight, also when he gets home in the evening we fight. I don't get to do nothing even on Saturdays as he works then too, and we so need the money right now. I am fed up and I want to go to my brother's for 2 wks in New York (we live in Canada) but he got mad at me and told me he will not give me consent to take the baby. I really don't want to leave, but I don't know where else to go or waht else to do, as I am so sad now. We said such bad things to each other today, he told me not to let my sister come to spend vacation at our house anymore and I told him that his sisters are "good for nothings" and they are uneducated. I feel as if I am in a cage and I don't care to "fix up" my self anymore, as my baby comes first. We went Sat nite to a party at his cousin's and everyone keeps telling me that I look good, my husband told me that before we left home as well, but today he told me that I don't care about the way I look or what I wear and that is too bad for me. What to do ladies ...sorry that this is too long. I home I am not depressed. Pls give ur advise and comments.

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4 Comments on Fighting with DH


Pocahontas - Tuesday, 8 Dec
Sorry it went so rough. Hope things are better now. - L

RainbowRach - Thursday, 26 Nov
oh hun ((big hug)) I feel for you. Ok, so the not sleeping through the night - could it be that your baby is a little hungry? Have you tried some baby rice or pear/apple/banana? maybe if you try solids it will help your sweet little girl go through the night again? not sure if thats any help. As for your DH - I think this is completely normal to be honest. Steve and I havent been fighting but we had one heated discussion where I explained that despite being at home all day I am not able to run the house, look after Emily and take care of my appearance!! I wrote up a rota for the housework, he only has a couple of things to do but I think once he saw it all written down he realised just how much I do during the day. Maybe you should leave your baby with your DH on a Sunday so he can see just how hard it is to get anything done. For me, some days I do loads of housework but some days Emily wants attention and cuddles, she is not sleepy so I leave the housework and concentrate on her. As for your family visiting, you need some company sometimes, it can be pretty lonely having a young baby so I would insist on visitors. Another thing you could try is making an effort to get out of the house once a day - I found that made me take a shower, do my hair and put some decent clothes on. If I were to stay in every day I know that there is no way I would bother to get dressed!! lol. Hang in there sweetie, this is a difficult time for you and your DH as you adjust to your new life x x

Tara83 - Wednesday, 25 Nov
I promise you this is all normal... I know it feels so intense right now but it will pass. Once you have a baby you and your Husband have to reconnect not only as being Husband and Wife but as a Mom and Dad. Your rolls have changed your priorities have changed daily routines have gone out the window and romance feels like a distant memory. Not being able to keep up with all the house work and a baby is common it's a big adjustment and your energy levels are down and some days things just don't get done, but at the end of the day if your baby is happy and healthy then that is all that matters. You and your Husband just have to find some balance in the new rolls you have.. when he gets in from work he can take some time to unwind but then he should spend sometime with the baby while you take some "you time". Once you have started having a little more time for yourself you will find the time to do your hair, take a nap or anything else you feel like you have been missing. As for your looks... don't even worry about it I believe all Moms go through a "new Mom" stage where they don't care if they brush their hair shower for 3 days or put on clothes that actually look good....when you are home with a baby all day and no one but the baby see's you, you no longer waste time on getting dressed you try to catch up sleep hahah. All these crazy feelings will pass and the tension between you and your Husband will ease up and before you know it you will be going out on date nights and all the new parents anxiety will be behind you ;o) As for your little one not sleeping.. since she is over 4 months have you tried her on the rice cereal yet? Maybe she is just going through a growth spurt and is hungrier. Or have you tried letting her play on an activity mat or in a jumper for about 30 mins before bed so that she wear sher self out and is ready to sleep? You could also try one of those crib toys that plays soothing music and displays pictures on the ceiling... I am sure you will figure something out. Take it easy and I hope you know you re a great Mom and doing a great job!!!

mrsjmickens1 - Wednesday, 25 Nov
leave him home with the baby for a week n take a vacation.....