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02-12-2008 - Just an update

My mood while writing this blog: frustrated

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So I thought I would just give an update on me and what happened. I was scheduled for a DNC that Thursday. Well, Tuesday night right as I was about to go to bed, Im sitting in my computer chair, have a little cough and gush all over the place. I had had a little very light cramping the past couple of days. I was just hoping it would hold out until the DNC. No luck there (I never get any luck!) I run to the bathroom and stay there for what seems like an eternity. Its about 12:30am at that point. Brendan calls the on call nurse and explains whats happening and my OB calls back and advises me to take some ibuprphen (the cramps were ramping up) and sit there and it should slow down. Well I couldnt sit there any longer, my butt was more sore than my cramping. So I get in the shower and take a nice hot shower to help with the cramping. It was nice but I got back out and sat on the toilet again..the cramps were getting worse and the ibuprofen didnt help...I was pretty upset, sad about what was happening, a bit scared at the amount of blood, and just generally frustrated and angry at myself and the situation.

It had seemed to slow down enough for me to go to bed, so Brendan put some towels on the bed and helped me get there. After lying down for about an hour..I dont know if I slept at all, I got up to go to the bathroom again. I sat there and bled more. I started feeling woozy and called for Brendan. I told him I didnt feel so good, and all of a sudden I got real lightheaded and faint. I almost passed out a couple of times and could barely sit up. Brendan called 911 at that point..I was white as a ghost. They came and took me off, my BP was stable, but they ended up keeping me till about 10am that morning. BY the time I got there the cramping was really bad like contractions. They gave me a ton of pain medicine through IV, demeral twice and then morphine. Nothing helped, it just made me sleepy(sound like last pregnancy during the stillbirth delivery! I wonder if Im immune to pain medicine heh) They did a ton of bloodwork, exams, ultrasounds, etc. The last ultrasound confirmed that everything had passed. At that point my cramping had completely stopped, so I had already known everything was over.

I was pretty sore for a few days, but I felt much better afterwards and had a ton of energy. Being pregnant, even early on really takes a toll on you, at least me anyway.

I feel fine physcially and emotionally, but I get really angry and frustrated sometimes. I can tell Im a lot more short tempered lately, and more stressed.

I did find out that my Dr does not think that this miscarried was related tot he MTHFR. She said that it usually causes a problem later in pregnancy, like my first one. She said that this seems like your average 20% of all pregnancies that end in miscarriage. Which does make me feel better, since something this early is out of our control. Whereas there are things they can do to prevent what happened last time now that they know I have this condition. It's just getting a good pregnancy to take is our first goal. I just worry that each time I get a little more numb to being pregnant, and IF everything does work out one day, will I be able to make an emotional attachment? I do feel like EVERYONE is pregnant except me though, maybe I just notice it more now.

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3 Comments on Just an update


thebigtomato - Wednesday, 14 Jan
I remember when we were in the prego weeks together way back in the day. I popped in to see how you're doing and I'm really sorry that you had another m/c. nmck is right about attachment. You may have a hard time forming an attachment during the pregnancy given your difficulties, but I'm sure you will have a bond once you know that you have a viable baby. You are an incredibly strong woman. I hope you have a healthy pregnancy and a perfect baby soon!

stcy2113 - Thursday, 4 Dec
I am glad that you are doing better. When can you start trying again? Maybe the 3rd pregnancy will be the one that works! I know its hard but it will happen for you!

nmck - Wednesday, 3 Dec
I think that is totally true. When pregnancy is on your mind, you notice it everywhere. I am so sorry that you had to go through that. Probably would have been less emotional and stressful if you went through it in the hospital as a D&C. I understand a little how you feel about the pregnancy attachment. After my major bleeding in week 7, I had several weeks of being afraid to be happy. Everytime someone who knew would say something about the pregnancy, I would quickly say...IF it lasts. It took me a long time to relax. Then when I hemmoraged at 28 weeks, I felt like Crap! I knew this was going to happen! So I have just a little bit of an idea of how you feel.

I think even if you have a hard time getting attached during the pregnancy, that won't matter when you have your baby.

I am keeping you and Brendan in my prayers. Keep the updates coming.