Members

As a member you'll be able to receive and send messages, keep your own photobook, agenda, ask questions, participate in the chat, and make new friends. All is free and you don't need email.
Sign up (free & anonymous)

Name: Password:

---

Activity
• Now online | Member search | New members | Comment Spy
• New blogs & Questions | Recently updated profiles
• New photos: Pregnancy | Babies | Bellies | Ultrasound | Member pages
• Latest comments: Forums | Week by week | Baby development

Write a new blog

---

18-9-2009 - Feeling better

My mood while writing this blog: much better

---

I think the past few days Ive had a slight case of the baby blues. With Sebastian being in the NICU, it kicked in this feeling of "I knew I wouldnt get a baby at the end of this" and "this was never meant to be". So I distanced myself from him and didnt go see him when family would come by. Brendan always went with them. The first time I saw him I just bawled in the NICU room, and I forced myself to go once a day to see him.

That all changed last night though. Brendan and I went to the NICU and the nurse came in to do an assessment on im. SHe asked if Id like to change his diaper while she did his checks. I was a little scared to at first, but Ive changed diapers before..just none that small heh. I did it and she said I was doing everything perfectly. That really helped..and I got to touch him and do a normal mother/baby thing. I wanted to just stay there and watch him. Brendan was talking to him and telling him "Its ok Daddy's here"...that made it all real for me and I fell in love with him.

He's doing a ton better now. They got a lot of fluid out of his lungs, and his breathing rate is slowing down a lot, and hes doing most of it on his own instead of the vent. doing most of the work. I think they plan on starting to feed him today instead of just providing proteins via the IV Unfortunately I still havent produced anything for him, but Im still workng on it. But as long as he's well enough to be eating, Im happy.

The Dr is guessing he might be able to go home Monday, but we will see. He has some jaundice now, but that isnt a big deal.

I'm really happy he's getting so much better, and I cant wait to have him home!!

Thanks for everyone's replies to my last post. Im glad have a place I can really express what Im feeling and others know what Im going through!! Love you guys!

---

8 Comments on Feeling better


nmck - Friday, 18 Sep
Glad to hear it is all going well. Please take time this weekend to relax and recover! Sebastian will be great!

mungbean - Friday, 18 Sep
so glad to hear!

kickboxerbaby - Friday, 18 Sep
I am glad to hear you had the oppurtunity to bond with him. I know it's hard when they're so little because you are afriad of breaking them but I am sure you are already a pro you just don't know it yet. Sounds like he is doing so much better. Spend as much time as you can with him this weekend. So when he comes home he's used to you. I will continue to pray for both of you.

3rdtimeisacharm - Friday, 18 Sep
so glad to hear things are going better, your little boy is beautiful. Keep healing up and don't sweat the breast milk situation too much, if he ends up on formula it just means that his daddy can do some of the middle of the night feedings and you can get some sleep!!! :) Congrats again and keep us all posted.

jenniferp - Friday, 18 Sep
So glad to hear that things are going better!!

orone - Friday, 18 Sep
I'm so glad to hear you've turned a corner, having a baby in the NICU makes you feel helpless in an already frustrating situation. I'm so glad that his lungs are doing better and he might be home here in a few days...yay! Just hang in there, you and Brendan are going to make for fantastic parents to this little guy.

kbielec - Friday, 18 Sep
Ugh...I am so glad you were able to be a part of that...and do mommy things - makes a big difference. Hang in there. It'll be ok.

GeorgiaBear - Friday, 18 Sep
I'm so glad things are looking up! I totally feel for you. With my first I realized that I spent so much time thinking about being pregnant and giving birth that I hadn't thought about actually taking care of a baby, and how everything seemed like it might be a total disaster. You definitely have had more than your share of things to worry about, but I'm sure you'll make it through this with a happy, healthy baby!