06-5-2008 - Silly Scared Blessed little me...

My mood while writing this blog: Relieved!

What am I going to DO with myself??

I'm at 25 weeks now, right? Things should be sailing along...

BUT, yesterday, it seemed to me (like it has seemed before) that Ty wasn't moving "normal"... I tried to keep it out of my head that something was wrong -- like he has died and I'm still eating lunch like nothing has happened! Last night, I jostled him around a little and had only the slightest responses... not enough to alleviate my concerns, but I bravely marched along... I woke up this morning and my husband asked how I was feeling. I said, "Very concerned..." Now he is not a worry-wart like I can be. Of course he is not a girl and he is not pregnant! He looked at me for a minute and just made an offhand, not unkind, remark about Ty being a little slow right now. I just swallowed the lump in my throat, got up, donned my fuzzy pink robe (which usually makes me feel a little better in any situation) and headed to the kitchen to prepare his breakfast...

Later, I jostled little Ty again off and on all morning, saying, "Come on Ty, talk to me!" Just the faintest responses... those little teensy flutters down low like weeks ago!

I had to go to my sisters house to wait for her new washer/dryer to show up (she is a teacher and was at work). I walked around her gorgeous yard and cut roses to fill her vases and took a cutting for me while I was at it. This also usually makes me feel better. All to no avail. To add to my growing distress, I felt like I was having some BHCs... normal, but not today! I don't want ANYTHING other than to feel my baby MOVE!!! I have read of some of you dear, dear ladies having late-term stillborns and the stories tear my heart out!!! I'm so sorry for you and I did not want to go there, but knew, if that is The Plan then I am helpless...

My precious sister came home and asked me to stay for a visit. I said no and just mentioned that I'm going to go home and call Dr. M. Well, her being her loving self determined to call him NOW and take me to his office. They are all soooo wonderful over there! I just had to call and they said, "Come on down! We will listen for you!" To the office we went, into the little room, in came Dr. M (what a beautiful sight!), and on went the dopplar... and there ~ loud and clear, was little Ty. Dr M listened for quite some time and declared all is well and I began to cry... Sister handed me a tissue; Dr. patted my shoulder... then he did a quick US and there was the little onery guy ~ just hanging out!! Kicked back, worrying his mother to nearly to death, just as cozy and calm as you please...

He is moving now, even as I type ~ pouring out my fear and my relief to you ~ my cyber friends whom I have never met, but feel so comfortable with... thank you for being there!