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03-3-2010 - Venting ( if you dont wanna read its ok...)

My mood while writing this blog: upset

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So my best friend from high school is suppose to be the god mother to me and Jason's son Tanner. She has been helpful these past couple of weeks till the other day.

Somehow there was mis-communication about the baby shower date --

Let me start from the beginning. I was telling her how I knew that this was going to be the last "about mommy" thing for a very long time. So I wanted to do a ladies luncheon (southern style). Which she thought was a great idea. Since then I have been trying to find places to hold it at. That has been a huge task in its self. Then trying to find a place that is "free" or "cheap." I know most people have baby showers at someones home, which is great and I wouldnt have a problem with that if people had enough room for everyone to sit and eat.

These are some of the places that I had found earlier today

So here are somethings that I have found and the pricing (not saying they are all what I want just the information that I have).

Club house at my apartments -
$300 - rent
$300 - deposit ( if everything is clean then it will be added to my next months rent)

River City Brewing Company -
$150 - rent the room
$350 - Food and Beverage min

Outreach Bingo Hall - (only Monday and Tuesday evenings)
$100 - rent

Coleman House
$50/hr ( 3 hour min)
$250 deposit ( will hold check and not deposit it unless they need to at end, if no need then they give check back or shred it)
$25 cleaning fee

Cozy Tea -
$50 (for rental of place 30 people min)
$30 to bring in own food
$25 cake cutting fee if you need
Customizable menu

When I was talking to my bff -- she then thought that it was approiate to tell me that I was planning my shower like I would be my wedding!!!! HOW RUDE! Now I dont know if I want her to be apart of it. First off my feelings are hurt by no one coming to see me and now this WTF? I know that I am a little emotional due to the pregnancy but that was rude.

How about I am the one working my ass off trying to find a place to have my baby shower.... in which I was only suppose to be helping plan and she wanted to plan it WITH me not me do everything right?! I am the one making the invitations, I am the one finding the places, Calling around doing research, I am the one picking and researching themes..... doesnt it sound like I am the one planning this shower.... it is going to say on the inviations

BABY SHOWER HOSTED BY : ME
with a little help from - her and MIL

I called my MIL (easier to say then bf's mom) and talked to her and we found a place for FREE!! =) bf's bro works at a church and they have a house on the property that we are going to be able to use and they are going to set up the tables and chairs for us. Which I am totally thrilled about it.
( I called the bff to tell her about it )

**(btw I saw this really cute cup cake tree thing from a friends wedding and then I told her about that)**

then I said that I would really like a red velvet cake because I havent had one in two years and she goes " what for your wedding or baby shower?" and I said "my baby shower" and she goes "oh because you have planning this baby shower like it is your wedding" and it pissed me off so badly.

I know that some of the places that I got prices from were expensive but who else was calling around to find a damn place I was just doing the freaking research. It was $600 just to rent the club house at my apartments and $500 to rent and have it fully catered and I made the statement about that and she was like "well $600 is too much for a baby shower that money should be spent on the baby" THAT WAS NOT MY POINT!!! my Point was that there was better pricing out there we just needed to find it.

I dont know if anyone will understand my frustration... but I am on bed rest... getting 50% of my pay, my bf doesnt get all the hours we need to make rent.... so planning and paying for a shower right now is kind out of the question (so do you really think I wanna spend 600 on a shower or anyone else too NOOOOO, come on I didnt spend that on my freaking nursery) Everyone seems to have help from their family members (or at least from what I see around her)

Example -
mommy bought daughter a CONDO so she could live off campus and go to college
Mom and Dad paid off CAR as college grad gift
mom and dad bought Trailer in a development for kids to live off campus and go to college
mom and dad lets daughter live at home, buys car , and takes care of daughter and her baby!! (at least three people i know)


I am not saying that I want the help from my parents like that I would love to stop feeling like I am drowning for once.

so off that....

Friday is my high risk appointment again and I will find out if my cervix has thinned the past two weeks and I will be 6 months. I got weighed at my last appointment and I weight 114lbs (16 lb weight gain in 6 months)

hope this finds all you ladies well!

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11 Comments on Venting ( if you dont wanna read its ok...)


shirls - Friday, 5 Mar
Me and a friend threw a baby shower for my BFF, and not only did she not help, she didn't even know about it! We threw it as a surprise, with her BF under orders to make sure she didn't plan anything for that day. She had created a registry so everyone knew what she needed. We held it at another friend's house, in the summer, so there was plenty of room in the backyard for everyone to sit, and she didn't have to worry about cleaning up. We all brought a present, and a pot luck dish to share. My shower was done the exact same way, except I knew when it was and was consulted on the guest list. I don't think the mom-to-be should have to lift a finger!

modelimited - Friday, 5 Mar
I totally understand where you are coming from! With my daughter last year my SIL wanted to plan a shower for me. I didn't want one because I bought EVERYTHING I needed. I was proud that I could do that. Anyway, I found out that it was really going to happen. It was planned at my house. I ended up doing the favors, making of list of those to invite, planning the food, dessert, cleaning the house and cleaning up after the event. My mom totally helped but not my SIL. She actually did NOTHING! She "forgot" to invite some of the people I asked her to invite and brought a pound of pasta salad from the grocery store to the party. The party itself cost my mother over $400.....cuz of food. My SIL/MIL did NOT pitch in a dime........and they are the ones that wanted to do it. So I totally understand where you are coming from and it sux!!!!! I wouldn't want to be where you're at again. And I've decided that if someone throws me a shower this time, I'm going to sit back and let it all fall apart! I'm not lifting a finger!

B3thy - Thursday, 4 Mar
I am so sorry that your friend is upsetting you. It sounds like you are doing all of the work and she should not be complaining about the help! I think it is great that you found a place (saw FB post last night) so hopefully you can relax more knowing that things are starting to move in the right direction. I am always here if you need to chat...hang in there girl! Good luck at your appointment tomorrow!!!!

janet1972 - Thursday, 4 Mar
Hi My friend I agree you shouldn't be doing the work, just rely on the person that you know will help you without telling you every second or questioning you every second as to why you spend or do the things that you do, do something simple but nice that should work, I was very practical but then I am old you know. My wedding was like $1,700.00 but it was nice and it looked elegant to me which I got a lot of compliments there was nothing fancy but I chose things that looked elegant but were cheap at the dollar store and Michaels stores and bought timeless roses online which was a great deal. Now my baby shower was done at church were every lady cheap in a dish to me that was special that they took the time to cook and give me that was pretty special, what matter to me is that I was going to spend time with the people I loved and cherish. A shower is to celebrate the birth of your baby and no one has the right to put your efforts down. Even at that I had to miss my shower due Bedrest and so they had it without me which was fine you know. But they send the gifts with my DH and I called them to thank them for making me and thinking of me on making shower. Try to make it simple sweety and everything will be fine, just take it one step at a time slowly you have time. Take good care and keep us posted.

blessedbeyondbelief - Thursday, 4 Mar
it is fine to vent, but in my opinion you should be doing NO work on your baby shower. You shouldn't even worrying about that so just give it to your bff and bf's mom and let them take care of it. I never picked where, the invitations, the cake, or anything when I had a shower so just give it to them and tell them to do it and let it go. It will be nice just to have a shower even if it is just cake and nuts and you open presents. Good luck!

jekajoy - Thursday, 4 Mar
I love you wifey and I'm sorry things are so frustrating for you. I feel so helpless since I am so far away! I wish I could make it to your shower. You know I totally understand about planning everything and getting no help from friends/family (like my wedding and bach party if you can even call it that! and also this recent baby shower) so vent to me all you want. I can't wait to see you in June! xoxo

beerbelly - Wednesday, 3 Mar
It's good to get it off your chest and even the best friends can be hard work some times. Good luck with you next appointment. x

Amalthea - Wednesday, 3 Mar
its ok to vent...we are here for ya

baby[bump]mama - Wednesday, 3 Mar
i hope ur high risk appt goes well...your weigh gain is great for 6 months!!

rach84 - Wednesday, 3 Mar
Everybody needs a good vent here and there and by the sound of it you needed that one!!We all love our friends but sometimes they need to be put back in there boxs. If she says another comment id be telling her how rude she is being and if she was helping like she was ment to it would of made things easyer. I would be mega pissed off aswell. I know what you mean about the baby shower being your last special day, I want that out of my baby shower aswell!! Feel free to vent my way anytime. xxx

Duffy - Wednesday, 3 Mar
It is ok to vent hun. I hope your appointment goes well on friday

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