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16-11-2009 - Second Trimester - I Need Sleep!

My mood while writing this blog: Tired

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I Haven't written anything in a while so this will be longer than usual and i will probably complain a lot!

Well i am in week 16 now and have not slept in what feels like weeks. Going to work is now becoming testing and every morning i feel like i am dragging my corpse to the office! I seem to have Restless Leg Syndrome at nights which is making sleeping increasingly uncomfortable and i cant sleep on my side/back. My mother threw a fit this weekend when i told her i was still sleeping on my frint. Apparently this is dangerous for the baby - is this true? My boobs also starting stinging/burning last night. Not sure if this is normal as it seems early for anything else to be happening to them but it was pretty painful. Still peeing in the middle of the night but reduced from 3 times to once which is a blessing. Temptation to use adult diapers has faded now but i was on the border for a while there....!

I am of course ecstatic to be pregnant with my little man, but i cant help having morbid thoughts. I know i am not alone in this but i am so scared something is/will go wrong. I have another ultraound on 24th Nov so hopefully will be told all is fine, but it doesnt stop the worrying. I havent felt the baby move even tho my tummy is huge, but i am definitely eating for 2 so i dont think much of the belly is baby!

No one really believes how exhausted you can be - i work in a reasonably small office, and my boss at work has started treating me like a child, watching what i do and what time i come and go, even trying to control my work (giving me artificail deadlines for work that doesnt require a deadline) when i normally work autonomously. Nothing has changed in the quality and quantity of my work but i feel like i am being spied on which makes coming to work even harder!! He clearly prefers the male employees and this discrimination is starting to drive me mad! I am also increasingly paranoid these days so maybe none of the above is as serious as i think it is but it all feels very real to me! I told them i was pregnant as i needed to explain my hospital appointments and absence for 2 weeks earlier in my pregnancy when i got ecoli.

The hormones are making me rageful - loads of women on this site explain how they are emotional and cry at anything, I just scream and shout at anything, and i was reasonably scary when i wasnt pregnant so i feel so sorry for my husband at the moment! I actually told him i was leaving him last weekend as he was out with his friends and left me at a friends house for a few hours longer than i expected him to. Slightly extreme behaviour i think, and i was a bit out of line too! ;)

My skin is horrendous - dry and spotty and i have never had this before. My chest, shoulders and back are covered in small spots and i am so scared that they will stay after the pregnancy. On a positive note tho my hair is less oily than normal so i dont have to wash it so often! I am starting to get stretch marks (got 2 on my boobs almost instantly as they grew almost overnight) and i am prone to them anyway so i am dreading the major stretches to come. I am creaming and oiling twice a day (started 4 weeks ago - better late than never) so hopefully that should help but all the websites say it doesnt make a difference. I will keep track of this and update progress!

I forget at times that i am pregnant when i am out and about, especially shopping!! I start looking at some amazing outfits (with Christmas round the corner there are so many gorgeous things in the shops!) and then after collecting a dozen outfits to try on i remember they wont fit me for the Christmas parties!! So i made myself feel better this weekend and went and bought a Christmas tree and lots of amazing hand painted decorations to dress it with. I may not look very attractive this Christmas but my tree will compensate!!

Although i'm not a Christian, i love Christmas and i am planning on having the whole family at mine this year as i see it as a great time to get the family together and be greatful we are all happy and healthy. But i will have to cook for 12 people. I think i can manage it though as i am still craving roasts all the time so i can look forward to my full christmas lunch with all the trimmings! Cant decide yet on what bird to cook tho!

I cant believe i have already started looking at schools. Unfortunately where i live, i have to register my baby pretty much when he is born for him to stand a chance of getting into the best schools. It is bizarre school hunting for a child that as yet does not exist and asking for brochures and application packs! I feel likea fraud but all the parents have to do it. Just very strange as this is my first child.

I am already planning the baby shower as i have counted that i need to invite about 50 people (family, friends, hubby's friends etc so people ont get offended - i appreciate this is an obsene number) and therefore it will need more organising than i initially thought. Of all the people i know, i am the one who organises other peoples things so i couldnt even rely on someone else doing this for me properly! My sister was going to do it, but when i saw the numbers i knew there was no way she could handle it! So am looking into catering and gift lists as i think i will have it in late feb which is not THAT far away! I was against gift lists for years as i thought it was rude to ask people for presents. But i went to a few and people would turn up with the same presents and i would think how awful for a new mum to have 5 towels, 4 blankets and a bunch of newborn clothes that the child will outgrow before it ever gets a chance to wear them. Then i went to a few friend's parties recently where they had giftlists and it made the whole thing so much easier. I think the key is to have things to cover all price ranges. I did this for my wedding and had present from £5 to £300 and did not mind if guests turned up with no gift. It was more about making it easier for those that want to give you something. It is still controversial tho so i have not fully decided yet but i think the way i will handle it is to have an unannounced giftlist, and then those who ask about it (and many will ask if i have one) i will give them the details and those who dont ask i will leave to their own devices.

Anyway, thinking out loud on here - i do love this site! I hope if anyone is reading this they are having a great pregnancy or are en route to a wonderful pregnancy. xxxx

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1 Comments on Second Trimester - I Need Sleep!


crazy daisy - Monday, 16 Nov
hi tara u poor thing sleeping is hard now im the same im always wakin in the night which is annoying i found it hard when i was bigger though just couldnt get comfy,its normal to worry about things too that things might go wrong im same,u prob wont feel the baby yet as its your first i was around 21 wks with my first can feel slight fluttering now but not every day so dont panic u will feel baby in time an its a wonderfull feeling.dont let work annoy u but dont let them walk all over u either,hmmm hormones dont we just love them its like havin pmt sometimes but thats normal i have same,ive had more spots than i had as a teenager lol noticed im getting itchy on body as well all the joys they will go soon as for ur hair it will go all glossy an thick thats one good thing for me as i have fine hair let me know how ur scan goes hun take care xx