15-5-2009 - if only i had enough money

My mood while writing this blog: pissed off / angry / upset / fighting the urge to walk out

i am so pissed off i am actually sat here in work feeling like i could just pick up my computer and launch it across the room.

As you all know i am now finally doing part time work 3 days a week. i work for a local firm of solicitors and i have been here since i was 17 years old when i started as the office junior. i am now a Legal Secretary and personally i think i am very good at my job (i should be i've been doing it for nearly 10 years)

well anyway this week has been pretty rough. i was ill at the start of the week and therefore didn't come into work on the monday or tuesday. i don't work wednesday or thursdays anymore so today (Friday) is the only day that i have been in work.

Now i have just been in with my boss who has now informed me that he is not at all happy with my performance since i have been back to work WTF it has taken you since january to tell me this. i have been back for 4 months already. No one has ever said anything to me about my work performance. OK i know i like to take the mick a bit and i do love to have a chat with my colleagues but i get all my work done and now my boss has the audacity to come and say to me that i'm not good enough.

Also ever since another lady came back off maternity leave in february he has done nothing but moan about her (not to her face mind you he's too much of a coward for that) he moans she's not quick enough, good enough, not got enough common sense. but then he tells me that he has had no problems with her work since she's been back but he's got complaints about mine.

well i turned round and said i haven't been given any work back to redo except for maybe 1 letter a week that may have a small spelling mistake on it.

another thing is usually when i have sick days i will take them as holidays as i can't afford to lose any pay out of my wages (which as you all know no one can afford to lose money at the minute) and my boss has now just told me that i will have two unpaid days this month which is fucking brilliant. i've now just lost over £100 that i really need.

He also said that i can't be having outside problems affecting my work. to which i replied that the fact i was off this week was because I WAS ILL there was no other reason. he then decides to bring up some stuff i told him about Andrew (remember my dad not coping blog) well that really pissed me off. that stuff i told him was told to him whilst we were outside on our lunch hour, having a cigerette and i was just having a moan to him.

apart from the one time that he knew about when i had to go home my situation with Andrew and the kids has never affected my job and for him to even mention that really just gets to me.

oh and also apparently there is overtime here this weekend. practically every secretary who works here has been asked to come in but now i've just had that with the boss he can KISS MY ARSE COS I AINT COMING IN. i couldn't give two shits about how much work there is and how much pressure he is under. if he can treat me like a twat after everything i have done for him that i am going to do the bare minimum from now on. I will come in, do my typing, speak to his fucking clients on the phone as i am the boss's secretary and can't get out of talking to them but anything other than that he can piss off.

i honestly feel like jacking it in and going on benefits. which believe me i could probably get more money and more help by not working. i know i have a lot of close friends who work here who have seen me grow up but to honest the pull of my friends is no longer enough to keep me happy being here when i could be so much happier at home in my own little word.

AHHHHH I'M SO PISSED OFF RIGHT NOW.