12-10-2008 - Goodbye

My mood while writing this blog: Scared

Well... i broke up with my boyfriend on friday. Im tired of being treated like crap and being on the recieving end of his insecurities. Hes 22 but still such a child. there is no way he is grown up enough to be in an adult relationship so i have no idea how he is going to be a competent and responsible father.

I stayed with my aunty over the weekend and she said iw as welcome to stay as long as i want but it wasnt really ideal there. her 2 sons, 20 and 22, still live at home and its quite a volatile environment. plus they all smoke, inside the house sometimes. im got a sore throat and a cough just from the weekend. not good.

So today i went to my sisters house and told her everything and she offered me to stay with her for a while. im not sure how long a while is but i guess until i find something decent and permanent. The house she lives in is my mums ex-husbands. Strange story.. myt parents divorced when we were very young and mum remarried not long after and they were together for about 12 years so he considers my sister and i to be his daughters. He is great to us which is lovely except that hes an alcoholic and when he gets drunk he gets stupid and can be a bit verbally abusive. so anway, he usually works overseas and when he is in town he stays with my sister. he isnt working at the moment, hes in Phuket on a holiday but he gets back at the end of the month so living here probably isnt going to last... h has helped me out financially in the past so i really dontwant to ask him for help but i know what he is like and he will want to help as much as he can. Oh also my sister is going back to uni next year and if he decides t stay in town then she will have to find somewhere else to live. theres no way she could study full time and deal with his crap. BUT... the problem there is that she wont be able to afford rent if she is studying, (she doesnt pay rent here). so he will want to help her out too. sooo.... im thinking now he miht get a job overseas so we can both live here or he will suggest that we get a place together and he will pay half the rent...

oh my head is going to explode. ill add more later :(