Write a new blog
| 11-10-2009 - *22 Weeks* |
My mood while writing this blog: Bored |
Yeah, I am getting kinda bored with being pregnant. The excitement is wearing off, and now I am just kinda here and gestating. I can't even say I am excited about the baby being here. I am at the point where I am starting to second guess myself and the decision to start a family. All my friends in nursing school are working on securing jobs, and then there is me, who will not be working until May. I just want to secure a job too. I'm freaking out about how I am going to manage being a new RN and have a new baby at the same time. I don't feel like I have the connection with my baby like most of the women do. It's cool to feel it move and squiggle around, but I don't feel like I love it as much as I am supposed to...it's hard to explain. I think a big part of it is that it is still an IT. It has no identity, no name. Not finding out at my U/S has put me into a sort of depression about the pregnancy. I still have no desire to work on the nursery, its still in boxes and cluttered with clothesbaskets of clothes my fat ass won't fit into. I just keep the door closed, out of site, out of mind. Blah, I am really hoping that I will feel better about all this shit once I find out who is floating around in there. I am holding out 100% for the U/S to tell me what I need to hear on Oct 27th, but if it doesnt, its not going to be pretty. I just hope I can love this baby once it's born. I don't know what to expect on that front. I am going to have this writhing, crying, needy little thing plopped into my arms and what in the hell do I do with it?
2 Comments on *22 Weeks*BabySaunders -
Sunday, 11 Oct Personal question, but did you wan this pregnancy? That could have something to do with it. I DID want my pregnancy and I'm feeling apprehensive about starting my family. The fact that I'll be responsible for something 24/7 is kinda scary. Sure I have dogs and cats, but they pretty much do their own thing. I have to make sure this baby is ok AAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL the time. So I can understand where you're coming from in that area. I hope we both begin to feel better when the baby is a few months old and smiling and cooing at us :) reeseplus1 -
Sunday, 11 Oct I totally understand! It will get better when you know what is inside of you but don't expect to feel totally in love right when you find out. It will get easier and after you have him/her it will all be worth it (2-3days after delivery)! Being a mom is the most fun things! It is the hardest things ever but truely worth it :) I hope you start feeling better, only time will help but know that it does get better than this :)