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13-11-2008 - my first time

My mood while writing this blog: Ok

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This is my first time writing on here but I am sure once I get going there will be no stopping me. I have much to say but not sure where to begin.....

Well I am 20 weeks along (HALFWAY YAY!) my baby has begun moving so much in the last week. I really enjoy rediscovering all the joys of pregnancy as it has been 13 yrs since I last did this. I am finding I have alot more stress this time around. Stress in my life and in the lives of those around me. Financially we are just getting by... and as winter approaches I realise I am completely ill equipped for winter in the mountains. My BF's family is having troubles which keep him up at night and he is having anxiety about everything. We have no car anymore and debt just keeps piling up around my ears... and the time where another mouth to feed and body to clothe just keeps getting closer. I am eager to hold my baby in my arms and I am the eternal optimist, I always make it through... but it sure is hard to cope while being this bundle of pregnant hormones and emotions. Everytime I cry (which is often) it seems to make my BF angry... I can't seem to make him understand that my crying doesn't spell disaster, or that it is his responsibilty - he just takes my tears so personally.

I look after so many people - as is my nature- the momma. But sometimes I just want someone to step up and take care of my needs. So last night I asked my 13yr old if she would make me toast. Well 1/2 hr later no toast.. so I ask my BF - he puts the bread in the toaster and then gets her to do the rest..... well I ended up with hard cold burnt toast and had to listen to them fight over who would do it and then listen to the complaints of my daughter at the injustice of it all. It really hurt my feelings, ya know, that doing something for me was such a burden and that it ended up done so halfheartedly. So I told her so. And bless her dear heart about another 1/2hr went by and she came in with lovely warm soft honey and peanutbutter toast and an apology and a kiss!!! I love my wonderful child so much, it is moments like that that make all the effort worth it!

anyhow I guess I will stop for now and check in later or tomorrow..... gotta go feed some children...bye

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2 Comments on my first time


KristyK. - Tuesday, 18 Nov
OMG! Your daughter's name is Ayla! I wanted to name my daughter Ayla, but my husband would only settle for Ava! I have been kicking myself ever since. I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE the name Ayla! I told my husband that if we have girls (I'm having identical twins) I still want to name one of them Ayla...he said it is too close to Ava...If it is sooo close why did it matter before? :)

13yearsapart - Friday, 14 Nov
Just keep positive as much as you can!! I have a 12 yr old little girl and she is a god send for me right now. She is helping do all the extra stuff around the house and is very caring about how I feel. I'm sure your daughter just forgets, but it sounds like she is a jem!!! Bringing you the honey bread and making sure your happy is awesome.
I dont' have much advice on tears and the BF, as you already know. But all i can say is try to stay as positive as you can and it'll all work out in the end. I hope you have a great weekend!!
Candy