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29-6-2008 - Countdown!

My mood while writing this blog: nervous and anxious

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Like I mentioned, I really starting to get nervous and anxious as time gets closer. I know this is normal so I'm dealing. I'm a little more than I think I would have been if my husband and I hadn't found out that his boss has vetoed him coming home during a job move. Hubby works as a trucker and they move oil rigs around Wyoming and drag things back and forth from CO, UT, MT and SD, sometimes OK and TX. We need the money so J staying home the whole time until I actually have the baby is not financially viable.

He told me this morning that he was coming home but only long enough to pack what we call the "long term" bag.Yesterday he was across the state and today he came home while I was in the CPR recert class. I didn't get to see him. Meaning he could be gone up to 3 months with no break home (they don't have days off they are more like on-call 24/7 with a period of time called "houring up" which is a paid day to rest). Last year he was gone 2 months. He worries 1) that I can't handle him being gone and that our relationship will suffer in the future from his absence; 2) that I'll go into labor while he's gone, and 3) that he'll miss the birth of his firstborn. It really sucks. We are both really upset about it because he had advised his boss(es) that his intent was to be home for the birth and that he'd be gone 2 days (long enough to get here while I'm in labor and then go back after bringing me home as long as it's a vaginal. We'd have to rethink that if I am a c-sec, of course).

We do, or at least I, have backup plans if he is not here to drive me to the hospital. Depending on the pain and my ability, it's either 1) me driving to the hospital (they have ER valet -isn't that cool? for those in labor), 2) call 911 and let them do it all, 3) have a neighbor or friend get me. I've got the car seat and the hospital bag in my car so I don't have to worry about carrying crap into the car while in labor pain. I just have to grab the electronics (video cam, camera, cell, ACDC plugs for them). It's just the part where I'm in the hospital alone that is bothering my husband and me. I don't want to be alone in the process, but I don't feel comfortable having anyone else in the labor and delivery room with me except for my husband. I'm trying not to think about it much, and my husband has all this time to think while driving and I don't think he's revealing it all to me about how upset he is because he doesn't want to upset me, you know?

I told him I'd go ahead and get the vid cam stuff all ready and the camera and if I get there "first" then will set up and begin recording. I'll open a line on the cell phone so he can at least listen (if the cell signal is good enough and it may be too poor) even if he can't be there. He's hoping he'll be within a couple hours drive where he can just rent a car and drive as quickly as possible. I know he's thinking of how to get here while I'm thinking of how I can do it without him. I'm trying to be realistic so that I don't get my hopes up to high, because if he can't be there the baby is still coming regardless; but if he does get there I'll be elated! If he's still out on the job, then depending on how I feel afterwards I may just get in the car and drive to him.

I haven't said much to anyone about it because I'm still processing it myself. I think he's been talking to people about what advise they can give him. He's been so awesome throughout the pregnancy (even when being a turd the way guys can be) and I just hope that he can be there. I'm just going to pray and let God handle it for me. I remember that the important thing is that 1) I'm going to come through it safe and healthy, 2) the baby comes through it safe and healthy, and 3) my husband will be able to be with us and hold his firstborn.

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1 Comments on Countdown!


kelseyispreggo - Sunday, 29 Jun
Wow! I am SO sorry about this dilemma. I can't imagine! I can't believe your husband's boss won't let him off so he can see his own child be born. Thats so dumb! I will be praying that he can be there with you and if he can't that you will be ok and will have a quick delivery so you can bring that baby to him! Good luck! :)