adnorel's I-am-pregnantblog

adnorel
	Age: 32 Country: USA Province/region: Texas City: Partner: Tony Children: Yes, 2 Pregnant: No Occupation: Claim's Examiner/Peace Officer
	Online: More than 3 months ago Last updated: 342 days ago. Member since: 1296 days
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20-10-2008 - Debating on what to do!

My mood while writing this blog:
Confused

Having another bad day with the boyfriend. Today the plan was to go get registered for my Baby Shower and at first he was gonna go with me then he decided after working all weekend and not getting enough sleep and being a little sickly that he wanted to take today just for some R&R for himself and he wanted to just stay home and play his computer....Ok Fine, I thought he might want to look at baby stuff for the 1st time but I guess I was wrong!! So I went by myself which ended up being a good thing because I was able to take my time and look and compare things. But come 9:30 he was calling me being very sarcastic almost irate because I hadn't called him and I've spent 6 hours shopping. When actually I spent 3 hours doing the registry but I wasn't going to be going to his house and seeing him because my mom had my son at home and I have the responsibility of going home after mom was kind enough to keep him for me not to have to hassle with him in Toys-R-Us. He got soo upset because today wasn't all about him (my boyfriend) he knew I had plans and he was welcome to go with me but because I took so long and hadn't called while I was out he freaked out. I'm so tired of his mood swings. He is soooo wonderful most of the time but I haven't moved in yet due to a few reasons and that is one of them. Right now I just have a few things over at his house that might would take me 2 hours to grab it all if I decided too. I don't want to go through this pregnancy without him and I don't want to raise this baby without him and I being together....but I just can't decide what is best. I honestly think the best thing is to just be done with him. I love him so much and I love so much about him but he is an alcoholic phsyco..LOL. Everytime I don't make everything about him he goes off the deep end and usually accuses me of crap his wife did to him. There is soo much good about him and I know all men have their faults but this one's faults although only a few....are major. I hate to loose what I have with him because he shows me more love and affection than any man ever has in my life and I actually trust that he loves me and me only. But when in the back of my mind I constantly worry about how bad his moods swings could get and I have kiddos to look out for I just think letting him go is the best thing. I have turned this one over to the Good Lord several times and asked him to show me the way and just about the time I think ok I get the picture and I need to be done then something awesome happens. And I wonder if I should be hanging on. I keep thinking everything is falling into place just as it needs to for me to move forward with him and that this is God's plan but then he will go off the deep end again...Such mixed signals...I'm soo confused.

3 Comments on Debating on what to do!

*Cady*xoxo - Tuesday, 21 Oct
My last boyfriend was an alcoholic/drug addict. I can honestly say, I have not loved someone more than I loved him. He had a way of knowing almost everything and when I would go to leave, he would show me the side of him that I still love today. I'm not saying your man is like my old one, but to me I think he knew what he was doing, always using excuses or promising things would get better. Fortunatly for me though, I didn't have his baby, I got out of it b4 we ran into that problem.....I think in your heart you know what YOU need to do, you also have to think about the baby in this situation.....If you love him though and you honestly think it's going to work, then stay and see what happens....it's all up to you. Good luck keep us posted....

mommyofsoon2b4 - Tuesday, 21 Oct
Once the baby arrives, his "all about me" attitude is going to get a lot worse. You shouldn't have to worry if he'll freak out because your focus is somewhere else, especially when it comes to your children. You need a good positive environment around you and your son(s). At this point, you need to focus on you, your son and your unborn baby....Good Luck! :)

bezzi44 - Tuesday, 21 Oct
I think deep down you know what to do. =) You just have to get there mentally. If you re-read your blog you might see the common feelings that abused women have... He's really a good person (when he's not drunk). He really loves me (when he's not hitting me). I know how wonderful he can be (but isn't right now). No one else would love me like he does... I know it's hard for you right now but it will be 10x worse with a new born and going through the same issues. Maybe a time out is in order? Don't have to make any final decisions, just put you and your boys first for once. If he truly believes you're worth it, he'll come around. If not, you'll know to close one door so that another can open. =)

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