adnorel's I-am-pregnantblog

adnorel
	Age: 32 Country: USA Province/region: Texas City: Partner: Tony Children: Yes, 2 Pregnant: No Occupation: Claim's Examiner/Peace Officer
	Online: More than 3 months ago Last updated: 342 days ago. Member since: 1296 days
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24-12-2008 - It's officially over for good!

My mood while writing this blog:
blah

Well I am officially done with my BD. Over and over I have asked God to show me what I needed to do in this relationship I have with my BD. And over and over God has shown me and I've seen all the signs that I needed to be done with him. But I was asking God for the wrong thing...recently I Thanked God for Showing me the way and asked him for the strength I needed to make the commitment to be done with this relationship between myself and my BD. And again God heard my prayers and answered them and now I am done with my BD forever...atleast as far as him and I are concerned. I know I will unfortunately have to deal with him for the next 18 years and I know this baby will have a piss poor excuse for a father and I apologize to him for that already. But thankfully it's over before my baby gets here and has to deal with the confusion later in life. My BD decided after 2 1/2 years of not seeing his wife to go to Florida and spend 10 days with her and her family for the New Year. He leaves Friday...and I knew as soon as he boarded that plane I would have the strength to be done forever but today I found the strength rather he boards that plane or not. I'm thankful to have this strength now...now my baby will still have the same name of Benjamin Brice but he will no longer get the daddy's last name....he will get mine and my son's last name to save us all some confusion later. Then to top it off as if I didn't already feel like my world was falling apart...I found out today My X-husband is getting married to the woman he cheated on me with....Why that bothered me so bad I don't know but it just hit me like a ton of bricks when my son told me his daddy was getting married....that is the last thing I expected and/or wanted to hear today. Life will go on...I will be okay...but today seems like the lowest of lows...been here before and I know I will bounce back it just takes some time. Merry Christmas to all...and I hope your's is going better than mine :). I am thankful to be with my son and I know we will enjoy Santa coming tonight.

5 Comments on It's officially over for good!

katwood - Saturday, 27 Dec
It is like the Garth Brooks song, unanswered prayers...well, God obviously wanted you to be a new mom again, he just didn't want you to be with the BD! And that is okay....what I've known about you, you tried like heck to make it work that is all you could do. You can't ever look back and think you did not....if you do, send me a note....I'll remind you. As low as things are..or seem, you are blessed with your son and your new baby to be....children are a blessing...always remember that...and God does not give us what we cannot handle...I was watching mass yesterday on TV, at the cathedral in Washington DC, and listening to the sermon...the priest said...Christmas was not about God or Jesus always making things good or right...(as obvious with the way the world is today), Christmas was about no matter good or bad...you are not alone...you never go through anything alone...even when you think that you are...if you trust in God, which I know you do....you will never be alone in this world. And the miracles he bestows on us....you'll have your two little angels to keep you company...they are yours forever...how much more beautiful a gift than that? I am very proud of you...for trying and finding the strength to do what you feel is best for you and your family....God Bless..and Happy Holidays...Please send baby pics..as soon as you can...Emilie would love to see her little boyfriend who was supposed to share her birthday! Kristen.

louie8 - Friday, 26 Dec
Stick to your guns! You won't regret it later!

Beauti - Friday, 26 Dec
*****HUGS*****
I am sorry that you have to go through this @ all of times when you're pregnant. However reading your blogs, I am sure that you will find teh strength that you need to take care of you and yoru children!

*smoochies*
~Beauti

bezzi44 - Thursday, 25 Dec
Good idea on your son's name. It's one of my biggest regrets.

Hang in there. Every day is a gift and with your eyes open, as they are now, you will start enjoying those gifts.

We're here for you!

XXX

Jwlz73 - Thursday, 25 Dec
I am so sorry you are going through this! But you WILL find the strength to make it! I have been dealing with some of the same stuff you have and at times it is really tough. But as soon as you make the decision, in some ways, it becomes easier, or less hard I should say. Stay strong and don't feel down on yourself if some days you dont feel like you have the strength to take one more thing. It happens and later you will have that strength! God Bless and Merry Christmas to you and your son!

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