| aejh143 | |
 | Age: 27 Country: Province/region: City: Partner: Josh Children: Yes, 1 Pregnant: Not anymore Occupation: teacher/coach/musician |
| Online: 9 days ago. Last updated: 20 days ago. Member since: 238 days | |
| | Profile | Photos (24) | Children (1) | Blog (8) | Polls (4) | Agenda (0) | Comments added (20) | Notepad |
|
Members
Activity
• Now online | Member search | New members | Comment Spy
• New blogs & Questions | Recently updated profiles
• New photos: Pregnancy | Babies | Bellies | Ultrasound | Member pages
• Latest comments: Forums | Week by week | Baby development
Activity
• Now online | Member search | New members | Comment Spy
• New blogs & Questions | Recently updated profiles
• New photos: Pregnancy | Babies | Bellies | Ultrasound | Member pages
• Latest comments: Forums | Week by week | Baby development
Write a new blog
I'm not quite sure how I feel this week. Or if what I'm feeling is normal... whether it's 3rd trimester hormones or if I truly have something to be upset about.
This past week I had an appt for my 32 week visit. I thought it was going to be my pelvic exam. All week long I've had friends of the family (who are doctors or OB/GYNs) at the baby shower commenting on how they don't think I'll last another 8 weeks. How my belly is so big and how he's turned and the things I'm describing means that it's coming right along, he should be coming sometime soon. Most of them said that the middle of August seemed about more accurate than the middle of September. Seeing as though I was feeling the same way, I was relieved in hearing this! However, my doctor has never said this to me. In fact, he's always just said nothing. Literally. This is his diagnosis each and every time- "You look great, everything looks fine." Then it's have a good day and he's gone, unless I force him to stay with a bunch of questions that he doesn't really give a solid answer for anyway. I've found that I've run out of questions.
My whole pregnancy has been this way. All my friends that are pregnant for the first time are so educated by their doctors, and even people here on the site seem to be as well. But not me. I haven't had an ultrasound since week 18, and even then when they said he was 10 oz, they didn't say anything but that!! Oh, and it's a boy. Honestly the whole thing took 15 minutes, with no visit from the doc afterward, no information on what we just saw. I got home to read that the average weight at 18 weeks was actually 5 oz!! and I had to call to ask if my boy was just HUGE or if something was wrong. At the time the elation of finding out what we were having overshadowed the irritation for yet again not being told anything specific.
So that brings me to this week's appt. I go in thinking it's going to be a pelvic exam and FINALLY!! I'm going to learn a little more... yes, I'm dialating, no I'm not... he's turned downward, I am/am not effacing... it's not like I want him to tell me my baby is coming tomorrow. I just want him to tell me SOMETHING. So I go in and they do have me get undressed from the waist down so I don't think anything of it... but instead they take a swab for a test I agreed to do.. and he says, (try to guess here), "Well, you look great, everything looks fine. We'll see you later!" I almost started to cry right there in the room. But I sucked it in and asked him what all he was going to do today. He gave me a puzzled 'you are so stupid' look-which made me want to cry more, not to mention slap that stupid smirk right off his face- and he said, this was it. When I explained I thought it was pelvic exam day, he chuckled and said no, that's at 36 weeks. To top off the day as I'm holding in tears on the elevator, a girl was crying because she was going to have to be induced that day and she was 32 weeks along. Turns out her PELVIC EXAM!!!! showed her dialated to 6 already, and the one she had the week before she was at 3. So she's had 2 in the last 2 weeks with the same office- different doctor, same partner office- and I've had none. And I"m completely in the dark.
Now- let me say this, I am grateful nothing is wrong. Obviously the heartbeat and the measurement of my stomach looks normal, which I am relieved for. Absolutely. But why can't my doctor be more specific than, looks great??!? Even if he said... alright, Amy, his heartbeat is right on... your measurements are too. At this point you're just in a holding pattern until he is ready to come out.. and we'll check your dialation in 4 weeks to see how close you are. EVEN THAT!! would have made me feel better. Basically saying the same thing, but with much more care and much better bed side manner.
So when I called my husband and he was all excited to hear about the pelvic exam (you could hear it in his voice) I just broke down. He was at work, busy as hell, and had to comfort me because I couldn't control my emotions. I'm tearing up right now typing this. I'm just so exhausted with these anxious feelings and with not having my own doctor willing to say more than 5 words to me. He's such a nonchalant guy, blah blah, but this is my first time and I have NOTHING to sooth my worry but reading this shit in a book. It should be the doctor feeding me the info, not the books AFTER I realize the doctor hasn't told me anything, right????
Or am I just going crazy with emotions like my husband thinks? He doesn't understand why this is making me so upset, though he certainly is being supportive- he just doesn't see why I let myself get so worked up.
What the heck? I am just so tired of all this. This experience, aside from the wonderful gift of Jackson, has been horrible. If we do have another baby, I want to go to a different doctor.
7 Comments on I'm ready already!!
honeybee621 - Saturday, 26 Jul
Well, I agree that it's par for the course for mots docs to not spend much time with thier patients. Mine is the same way, only I actually like him. I think it's cause he has much better bedside manor and compassion. You can tell that he cares about his patients. If I don't have any questions, its like a 3 minute office visit these days...(of course I have to wait about 45 in the waiting room before I get to see him an that sucks! LOL) But, on the U/S thing, I was thinking the same thing, I haven't had one since week 18 either and I was like...how do we know if everything's ok. So I decided to ask him at the last visit and he said that "I'm measureing perfectly each week, and my urine comes back fine each week and no contractions so that means everything is going well. He doesn't want me to have to pay out of pocket since insurance won't cover it if it's not medically necesary." But I did have to ask him for that info, he didn't volunteer it. I haven't had a vaginal exam since my first appt. back around week 10. That part makes me anxious, but I guess it will happen at my appt next week (I;ll be 36). Here's my adivice, it's kinda late in the game to switch docs now (although you could probably do so to another one in that same office and be ok), but you and your insurance are paying this guy LOTS of money. If you aren't satisfied, you need to say something. How are the nurses in his office? Do they seem interested in what you have to say or are they more like him too? I'd definitely say something. Hopefully you will like the other doc and you will be able to switch, but if not I wish you the best of luck. And just remember.. that when it comes time for delivery, the doc won't be there til the last minute anyway...Or at least that's what I've heard...This is my first as well! Good Luck!
jsshrt - Friday, 25 Jul
I felt the same with my first pregnancy. My Dr. just whipped in and out of my room like my appointment was waisting her precious time. When I delivered an all natural birth (and she knew my birth plan ahead of time and even that day when I was admitted) she showed up about 10-15 mintues after the baby was born!!! She wasn't even there to help me!!! I was pissed!!! Anyway, I am using a midwife this time and she is awesome. She seems to really care. She is never in a hurry. She tells me all the meaurements and asks how I'm feeling. She even let me know 26 weeks that at 30 weeks I will be visiting the office every two weeks, at 36 weeks I will get a pelvic exam and start coming every week after that until I deliver. I let her know how I felt about the previous DR (same office). I dn't think that made her any more attentive though. She is just naturally caring. I hear that about most midwives and am glad that I chose to go this route this time. If I were you, I would let your Dr know how you feel and maybe even ask about a midwife or a dula (not so sure aboutt he later but hear they are excellent). Prefferably a woman who understands what you are going through and your need to be in the know. You are paying him for his services. You should get satisfaction from your visits. Not emotional breakdowns!
cmmbear - Friday, 25 Jul
Ok...my Dr is sort of the same way also, and every time I go in if I don't ask what my measurements are and what the heart rate is and whatever else he won't tell me. You may just start having to ask the questions each time. How does it work when you go into the office? Do you see a nurse that gets your weight and BP and ask you how you're feeling first? Have you been having any contractions at all? If you're not having any contractions that may be why he's not checking you. If you really want to be checked though at your next appt tell them you've had some or something and see if they'll check you. At my office if I want to be checked all I have to do is ask.
krissiehoran - Friday, 25 Jul
Hey there sorry you are not getting the info you wre expecting... I am in Ireland and that is about the same amount of info we get. I dont know what my baby weighs, they dont know my weight, only for I paid for a 3d scan my last hospital one was at 14 weeks and even then my mind wasnt put at rest. I had a m/c in nov and just wanted to know everything was ok and was told there was nothing I could if there was anything wrong anyway... I am no wiser today than I was at that scan... I dont even know what effacing means. You arent on your own sweetie :) I have my 2nd and last scan next wednesday and probably wont be told much else then either, all I can say is thank god for this site!! Good luck and I think you should change doctors if you arent happy... You should be enjoying your doc visits! x
Stacemingas - Friday, 25 Jul
God that sucks!! My doctor is so great and sits down in there and talks to me for as long as I want. I am sorry you are going through this!! Especially with your first pregnancy!!!! Maybe you should just talk to him about how you are feeling...? Good luck to you and congratulations on your baby boy!
jenarlington - Friday, 25 Jul
I could swear we have the same doctor...he's quick and not very personable, everything he tells me sounds memorized or like he's completely bored with having to waste his time telling me things. Everytime I go for an appointment, it's get weighed, bp check and then sit around and wait for him to come in and say "how are you?" "do you have any questions?" if I ask any it's quick answers and then "if you have any concerns, give us a call". I am so over it, if it weren't so late in the pregnancy, I'd switch. When I went in at 16 weeks and I had these hard, red, quarter-sized, painful lumps on the back of my legs, I asked him about it...he just said that they are from hormones and they may even turn brown...he didn't even look at them! Sorry to vent, but I know exactly where you are coming from. I don't even want to call him when I go into labor, I'd be just as happy to have someone else deliver the baby. Best of luck, hang in there, only a few more weeks!
tiffsept15 - Friday, 25 Jul
hi aejh143. I just read your blog. I am sorry that your doctor doesn't really explain anything. It was like that with my first as well as this one. If I don't ask the doctor the questions, I wouldn't know anything either. Hang in there and enjoy your pregnancy!!! Good Luck.
| 25-7-2008 - I'm ready already!! |  My mood while writing this blog:Ok |
I'm not quite sure how I feel this week. Or if what I'm feeling is normal... whether it's 3rd trimester hormones or if I truly have something to be upset about.
This past week I had an appt for my 32 week visit. I thought it was going to be my pelvic exam. All week long I've had friends of the family (who are doctors or OB/GYNs) at the baby shower commenting on how they don't think I'll last another 8 weeks. How my belly is so big and how he's turned and the things I'm describing means that it's coming right along, he should be coming sometime soon. Most of them said that the middle of August seemed about more accurate than the middle of September. Seeing as though I was feeling the same way, I was relieved in hearing this! However, my doctor has never said this to me. In fact, he's always just said nothing. Literally. This is his diagnosis each and every time- "You look great, everything looks fine." Then it's have a good day and he's gone, unless I force him to stay with a bunch of questions that he doesn't really give a solid answer for anyway. I've found that I've run out of questions.
My whole pregnancy has been this way. All my friends that are pregnant for the first time are so educated by their doctors, and even people here on the site seem to be as well. But not me. I haven't had an ultrasound since week 18, and even then when they said he was 10 oz, they didn't say anything but that!! Oh, and it's a boy. Honestly the whole thing took 15 minutes, with no visit from the doc afterward, no information on what we just saw. I got home to read that the average weight at 18 weeks was actually 5 oz!! and I had to call to ask if my boy was just HUGE or if something was wrong. At the time the elation of finding out what we were having overshadowed the irritation for yet again not being told anything specific.
So that brings me to this week's appt. I go in thinking it's going to be a pelvic exam and FINALLY!! I'm going to learn a little more... yes, I'm dialating, no I'm not... he's turned downward, I am/am not effacing... it's not like I want him to tell me my baby is coming tomorrow. I just want him to tell me SOMETHING. So I go in and they do have me get undressed from the waist down so I don't think anything of it... but instead they take a swab for a test I agreed to do.. and he says, (try to guess here), "Well, you look great, everything looks fine. We'll see you later!" I almost started to cry right there in the room. But I sucked it in and asked him what all he was going to do today. He gave me a puzzled 'you are so stupid' look-which made me want to cry more, not to mention slap that stupid smirk right off his face- and he said, this was it. When I explained I thought it was pelvic exam day, he chuckled and said no, that's at 36 weeks. To top off the day as I'm holding in tears on the elevator, a girl was crying because she was going to have to be induced that day and she was 32 weeks along. Turns out her PELVIC EXAM!!!! showed her dialated to 6 already, and the one she had the week before she was at 3. So she's had 2 in the last 2 weeks with the same office- different doctor, same partner office- and I've had none. And I"m completely in the dark.
Now- let me say this, I am grateful nothing is wrong. Obviously the heartbeat and the measurement of my stomach looks normal, which I am relieved for. Absolutely. But why can't my doctor be more specific than, looks great??!? Even if he said... alright, Amy, his heartbeat is right on... your measurements are too. At this point you're just in a holding pattern until he is ready to come out.. and we'll check your dialation in 4 weeks to see how close you are. EVEN THAT!! would have made me feel better. Basically saying the same thing, but with much more care and much better bed side manner.
So when I called my husband and he was all excited to hear about the pelvic exam (you could hear it in his voice) I just broke down. He was at work, busy as hell, and had to comfort me because I couldn't control my emotions. I'm tearing up right now typing this. I'm just so exhausted with these anxious feelings and with not having my own doctor willing to say more than 5 words to me. He's such a nonchalant guy, blah blah, but this is my first time and I have NOTHING to sooth my worry but reading this shit in a book. It should be the doctor feeding me the info, not the books AFTER I realize the doctor hasn't told me anything, right????
Or am I just going crazy with emotions like my husband thinks? He doesn't understand why this is making me so upset, though he certainly is being supportive- he just doesn't see why I let myself get so worked up.
What the heck? I am just so tired of all this. This experience, aside from the wonderful gift of Jackson, has been horrible. If we do have another baby, I want to go to a different doctor.
7 Comments on I'm ready already!!
honeybee621 - Saturday, 26 Jul
Well, I agree that it's par for the course for mots docs to not spend much time with thier patients. Mine is the same way, only I actually like him. I think it's cause he has much better bedside manor and compassion. You can tell that he cares about his patients. If I don't have any questions, its like a 3 minute office visit these days...(of course I have to wait about 45 in the waiting room before I get to see him an that sucks! LOL) But, on the U/S thing, I was thinking the same thing, I haven't had one since week 18 either and I was like...how do we know if everything's ok. So I decided to ask him at the last visit and he said that "I'm measureing perfectly each week, and my urine comes back fine each week and no contractions so that means everything is going well. He doesn't want me to have to pay out of pocket since insurance won't cover it if it's not medically necesary." But I did have to ask him for that info, he didn't volunteer it. I haven't had a vaginal exam since my first appt. back around week 10. That part makes me anxious, but I guess it will happen at my appt next week (I;ll be 36). Here's my adivice, it's kinda late in the game to switch docs now (although you could probably do so to another one in that same office and be ok), but you and your insurance are paying this guy LOTS of money. If you aren't satisfied, you need to say something. How are the nurses in his office? Do they seem interested in what you have to say or are they more like him too? I'd definitely say something. Hopefully you will like the other doc and you will be able to switch, but if not I wish you the best of luck. And just remember.. that when it comes time for delivery, the doc won't be there til the last minute anyway...Or at least that's what I've heard...This is my first as well! Good Luck!
jsshrt - Friday, 25 Jul
I felt the same with my first pregnancy. My Dr. just whipped in and out of my room like my appointment was waisting her precious time. When I delivered an all natural birth (and she knew my birth plan ahead of time and even that day when I was admitted) she showed up about 10-15 mintues after the baby was born!!! She wasn't even there to help me!!! I was pissed!!! Anyway, I am using a midwife this time and she is awesome. She seems to really care. She is never in a hurry. She tells me all the meaurements and asks how I'm feeling. She even let me know 26 weeks that at 30 weeks I will be visiting the office every two weeks, at 36 weeks I will get a pelvic exam and start coming every week after that until I deliver. I let her know how I felt about the previous DR (same office). I dn't think that made her any more attentive though. She is just naturally caring. I hear that about most midwives and am glad that I chose to go this route this time. If I were you, I would let your Dr know how you feel and maybe even ask about a midwife or a dula (not so sure aboutt he later but hear they are excellent). Prefferably a woman who understands what you are going through and your need to be in the know. You are paying him for his services. You should get satisfaction from your visits. Not emotional breakdowns!
cmmbear - Friday, 25 Jul
Ok...my Dr is sort of the same way also, and every time I go in if I don't ask what my measurements are and what the heart rate is and whatever else he won't tell me. You may just start having to ask the questions each time. How does it work when you go into the office? Do you see a nurse that gets your weight and BP and ask you how you're feeling first? Have you been having any contractions at all? If you're not having any contractions that may be why he's not checking you. If you really want to be checked though at your next appt tell them you've had some or something and see if they'll check you. At my office if I want to be checked all I have to do is ask.
krissiehoran - Friday, 25 Jul
Hey there sorry you are not getting the info you wre expecting... I am in Ireland and that is about the same amount of info we get. I dont know what my baby weighs, they dont know my weight, only for I paid for a 3d scan my last hospital one was at 14 weeks and even then my mind wasnt put at rest. I had a m/c in nov and just wanted to know everything was ok and was told there was nothing I could if there was anything wrong anyway... I am no wiser today than I was at that scan... I dont even know what effacing means. You arent on your own sweetie :) I have my 2nd and last scan next wednesday and probably wont be told much else then either, all I can say is thank god for this site!! Good luck and I think you should change doctors if you arent happy... You should be enjoying your doc visits! x
Stacemingas - Friday, 25 Jul
God that sucks!! My doctor is so great and sits down in there and talks to me for as long as I want. I am sorry you are going through this!! Especially with your first pregnancy!!!! Maybe you should just talk to him about how you are feeling...? Good luck to you and congratulations on your baby boy!
jenarlington - Friday, 25 Jul
I could swear we have the same doctor...he's quick and not very personable, everything he tells me sounds memorized or like he's completely bored with having to waste his time telling me things. Everytime I go for an appointment, it's get weighed, bp check and then sit around and wait for him to come in and say "how are you?" "do you have any questions?" if I ask any it's quick answers and then "if you have any concerns, give us a call". I am so over it, if it weren't so late in the pregnancy, I'd switch. When I went in at 16 weeks and I had these hard, red, quarter-sized, painful lumps on the back of my legs, I asked him about it...he just said that they are from hormones and they may even turn brown...he didn't even look at them! Sorry to vent, but I know exactly where you are coming from. I don't even want to call him when I go into labor, I'd be just as happy to have someone else deliver the baby. Best of luck, hang in there, only a few more weeks!
tiffsept15 - Friday, 25 Jul
hi aejh143. I just read your blog. I am sorry that your doctor doesn't really explain anything. It was like that with my first as well as this one. If I don't ask the doctor the questions, I wouldn't know anything either. Hang in there and enjoy your pregnancy!!! Good Luck.
Photos
Children
Latest blogs
20-9-2008 - Birth Story in a Hurricane
01-9-2008 - rough night
26-8-2008 - I'm done.
22-8-2008 - 8 hours of pain and NOTHING.
25-7-2008 - I'm ready already!!
16-4-2008 - It's A....
04-4-2008 - Baby Dream!
04-4-2008 - Blogs before Apr 4th
20-9-2008 - Birth Story in a Hurricane
01-9-2008 - rough night
26-8-2008 - I'm done.
22-8-2008 - 8 hours of pain and NOTHING.
25-7-2008 - I'm ready already!!
16-4-2008 - It's A....
04-4-2008 - Baby Dream!
04-4-2008 - Blogs before Apr 4th
Nurseryroom
Jackson`s-Surfer-Room
Theme: Surf boards/Woody cars
Added: 2008, 07, 27
Number of pictures: 5
Jackson`s-Surfer-RoomTheme: Surf boards/Woody cars
Added: 2008, 07, 27
Number of pictures: 5
Polls
Will I last 7 more weeks???...
Date: 27-7-2008 Votes: 98 Comments: 0- Well, even after being so SURE it was a girl from my dream...IT`S A BOY!! I was ...
Date: 16-4-2008 Votes: 45 Comments: 7 - Ok, had a dream that it`s going to be a girl! So...what do you think of this nam...
Date: 10-4-2008 Votes: 50 Comments: 4 - Anyone know of a good pregnancy yoga video? Please comment too!...
Date: 26-2-2008 Votes: 8 Comments: 3
Agenda
|
| |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||