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ajoke
Age: 31
Country: USA
Province/region: NE
City:
Partner: One great hunk of spunk
Children: Yes, 4
Pregnant: No
Due date: 09 0 ,0000
Occupation: former cop now SAHM
Online: More than 3 months ago
Last updated: 944 days ago.
Member since: 1448 days
| Profile | Photos (48) | Children (4) | Blog (40) | Polls (25)
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08-1-2011 - letting it all out perplexedMy mood while writing this blog:
perplexed



Okay, everything is like hitting me at once....short (will probably be long though) summary of my journey into motherhood. First baby at 16, not planned of course, married two months after graduation to the man 'who saved my life'. One year later he adopted my daughter and then we had a DS 6 months later. He was planned, only took 2 months to concieve. Not planned, superstar hubby turning into alltime cheating dipsh!* and later divorced when 23. Was very content with it just being me and my babies, bought my house and two cats.....was going to be the single cat lady on the block! Had no intentions of ever, ever getting married again let alone any more babies. Wanted to get my tubes tied but no go since was too young (good thing now) . Then met incredible, wonderful man in '07 who is now my DH, shocked the hell out everyone, let alone myself getting married again. DH is a bit older that me (29/36), and he doesn't want to be the 'old man' at his kids' school events (his words not mine) so we agree that i would stop the pill the day we got married. Thinking it would take awhile to concieve (been on the pill for 6 years) we got the shock of our lives that we brought back a stow-away from our honeymoon. Had DS2 1/10.

We want another, hence why I am here on TTC. I quit taking the mini pill in October to start working on #4. I was still nursing so didn't expect anything to happen right a way. I just had my first cycle and the BD for baby 4 starts tomorrow. Things have been a bit overwhelming with a very busy 13 yo DD, 9yoDS and now 1yo DS and the holidays, birthdays, work...DH and i had quit a tiff 2 days ago and now wondering, wow are we ready to add to the chaos??? Buts isn't that just like saying 'let's wait till we have saved up and financially ready for a baby I for one don't believe there is ever being ' financially ready' for a baby (we can definatley afford another baby). Is anyone truely ready???

I really don't want to have a Dec Jan baby, even Nov is pushing it so we would need to concieve this month or have to put things on hold. I bought OPK to help get the job done. DH isn't bothered by a Nov, Dec,Jan...he said the lord will bless us when it is meant to be. Then we get into my 'issues'. I didn't have this problem/feeling with my first two but with #4 I am worried about taking time away from #3, it makes me feel sad. Also, with #3 i had and actual maternaty leave and was able to be home for 3 months (i went back to work/school 2 weeks after 1 and 2) With this leave i realize how MUCH i missed out on of my babies growing up and SOOOOOOOOOO want to be a stay at home mommy. Having #4 will make me want that even more, but it is not feasible for us to live on one income, plus i carry the family insurance. I want to throw myself to the groung like a 3 year old and kick and scream it's not fair, it's not fair! Does anyone else feel, or have felt anything like this?

In my perfect world, we'd have millions, i could stay home with my babies, and have a spotless house.....too bad there is no such thing as percect! Maybe i should try and find the 'easy button' from Staples instead!!




2 Comments on letting it all out


pugdunn - Sunday, 9 Jan
WOW!

BethQ - Saturday, 8 Jan
You and I have similar stories. Lots of luck this month, and I look forward to getting to know you! :)
Photos
Happy Birthday (2011, 01, 25) Family (2011, 01, 25) One happy bunch (2011, 01, 25) Happy Birthday (2011, 01, 25) Could this possibly be my LH surge??????? (2011, 01, 15) Do you see what I see???  (2011, 01, 26) BFP timeline (2011, 01, 30) close up (2011, 01, 30) 4 weeks 4 days (2011, 02, 03) 4w4d front (2011, 02, 03) 6w2d (2011, 02, 14) 6w2d (2011, 02, 14) 6w2d (2011, 02, 14) 6w3d ultrsound (2011, 03, 11) 8w5d photo1 (2011, 03, 11) 8w5d photo2 (2011, 03, 11) 10 weeks pregnant! (2011, 03, 11) Click here to see all ajoke`s photos

Children
daughter (1998) son (2001) boy (2010) Olivia-Josephine (2011)

Latest blogs
22-12-2012 - Where are you now
06-4-2012 - A New Guardian Angel
20-12-2011 - Sooo not good
21-11-2011 - A new chapter in my life begins
14-10-2011 - Talk about back asswards
09-10-2011 - Profile clean-up /update
09-10-2011 - A week gone by
05-10-2011 - First few days home
02-10-2011 - Madam Z's predictions part @
02-10-2011 - WE ARE TEAM................
27-9-2011 - 38w appointment
19-9-2011 - 37 weeks
13-9-2011 - 36 Weeks
30-8-2011 - Another Dr appointment down, 5 more to go!
17-8-2011 - 32 week check up
09-8-2011 - All dogs go to heaven
07-7-2011 - Aiden\'s 18m check up
01-7-2011 - Last day of week 25
08-6-2011 - The good, the bad, and the ugly
02-6-2011 - Todays ultrasound
27-4-2011 - First items bought
18-3-2011 - Entertaining Web Links
17-3-2011 - Pregnancy Poll Bandwagon
03-3-2011 - So Happy!
16-2-2011 - We had a scare
07-2-2011 - UPDATE -To tell or not to tell
06-2-2011 - couldn't resist Madam Z.
02-2-2011 - to tell or not to tell
31-1-2011 - another long wait
27-1-2011 - Yep, its official
26-1-2011 - please please please
18-1-2011 - 1 year check up
09-1-2011 - party
08-1-2011 - letting it all out
06-1-2011 - bittersweet
02-1-2011 - I would have bet my right leg
28-12-2010 - Oh boy or girl???
27-12-2010 - my poor baby
10-12-2010 - date checking
08-12-2010 - call me crazy

Polls
  1. For the ladies polling about the hunger games series a while back what did you t...
    Date: 24-2-2012 Votes: 16 Comments: 1

  2. Would your rather.......
    Date: 6-1-2012 Votes: 48 Comments: 0

  3. What do you feel is a better choice? Having regular half and half or fat free h...
    Date: 6-1-2012 Votes: 32 Comments: 1

  4. Would you prefer to buy or receive a handmade crochet/knitted...
    Date: 20-12-2011 Votes: 36 Comments: 3

  5. Does/did your LO ...
    Date: 18-12-2011 Votes: 44 Comments: 5

  6. I can`t help it....sorry ladies, but i am one of `those` moms...are you ......
    Date: 12-11-2011 Votes: 41 Comments: 4

  7. Infant sleeping gowns........
    Date: 12-11-2011 Votes: 39 Comments: 4

  8. FYI!!! HUGE SALE AT MOTHERHOOD.COM!!...
    Date: 29-8-2011 Votes: 0 Comments: 0

  9. Pampers for older babies , do you prefer baby dry or the cruisers...
    Date: 19-8-2011 Votes: 13 Comments: 3

  10. Should I be worried????? A town that I stop at and get a drink/with ice before ...
    Date: 18-8-2011 Votes: 8 Comments: 4

  11. Hands free pumping bras????...
    Date: 8-8-2011 Votes: 12 Comments: 3

  12. How many mamas have or are expecting multiples...
    Date: 22-7-2011 Votes: 13 Comments: 3

  13. How do your prefer your books?...
    Date: 22-7-2011 Votes: 51 Comments: 0

  14. If you have woken up with those `wonderful` leg cramps at night did you have...
    Date: 15-7-2011 Votes: 36 Comments: 0

  15. Wal-Mart...
    Date: 12-7-2011 Votes: 58 Comments: 10

  16. What do you find more repulsive?...
    Date: 3-7-2011 Votes: 61 Comments: 2

  17. Which carrier would you recommend? ...
    Date: 28-6-2011 Votes: 14 Comments: 7

  18. DH and I are torn on what to do about our cocker spaniel. We got her in 07 from...
    Date: 13-6-2011 Votes: 32 Comments: 3

  19. Pregnancy hormones are raging today! Do you find it incredibly annoying that pe...
    Date: 10-6-2011 Votes: 197 Comments: 23

  20. Cribs for team yellow...the final 4 (i think!?!) . Which do you like best?...
    Date: 2-6-2011 Votes: 17 Comments: 3

  21. Should I get a double stroller..more inside...
    Date: 25-3-2011 Votes: 5 Comments: 12

  22. Your Baby Can Read...
    Date: 11-3-2011 Votes: 17 Comments: 2

  23. Are you having your baby at:...
    Date: 26-1-2011 Votes: 58 Comments: 7

  24. Nursing moms- when you stopped nursing what was AF like when she returned...
    Date: 30-12-2010 Votes: 28 Comments: 3

  25. Has your LO knocked out a tooth?...
    Date: 17-12-2010 Votes: 34 Comments: 9


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