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| 28-10-2008 - Just in Case-PPD |
My mood while writing this blog: Hopefull |
I just wanted to share this with anyone who might be reading. It might even just be cathartic for me to write. It's been 3 weeks since my beautiful Xander was born. While many things have been going well and Xander is healthy and growing nicely, I did suffer from Postpartum Depression. I have a history of depression and so my doc warned me that there was a higher chance that I might get ppd after the baby's birth. By the time we left the hospital I was pretty sure I could feel the symptoms coming on but I didn't want to admit it. I also knew that lots of new moms feel some of the same feelings I was feeling (overwhelmed, panicked, terrified, etc). I waited it out for a while even though I could feel things getting worse because I really wanted to continue breastfeeding. Xander latched on so beautifully and it was such a bonding experience for us. Thankfully I have a wonderful husband and mother who were attentive to my symptoms and eventually convinced me to call my doctor. I had to give up breastfeeding to go on the medication, and because I waited a while it's taken me until now to start feeling like myself. The last 3 weeks feel like kind of a blur. However, I do not regret my decision to go on medication at all!!!! It was 100% the right decision. It's only now that I'm thinking clearly that I realize how limited I was in my ability to take care of my precious baby while I was depressed. More than anything Xander needs a mom who is not depressed - who is healthy and capable of bonding with him in the right way. So, I'm writing this blog for a couple of reasons: frankly, just putting this down in text has made me feel a bit better, but also, if anybody reads this and is struggling with ppd or knows someone who is dealing with ppd (or is concerned about the symptoms of ppd and is unsure) I just want to encourage you to get help and not feel guilty. You don't need to suffer - getting help is better for you and your baby. I felt so bad at first about this but it is a chemical reaction and it is not my fault. I am just happy I got myself help and didn't wait any longer and now I can concentrate on enjoying this precious time with my little boy.
1 Comments on Just in Case-PPDjustjess -
Wednesday, 29 Oct Thank you so much for sharing your story with us. I commend you so much for getting the help you needed so you can be the best mom you can be. I'm glad you're feeling "your-self". And I'm glad your little boy is growing and healthy!!