24-6-2008 - Giving up Hope 02/22/08

My mood while writing this blog: Ok

So...I haven't gotten my period (not due until tomorrow anyway, and that's only if my cycle is regular like it was before the m/c) but I've gotten 5 BFN's and I'm thinking I jinxed myself. Oh well. I''m over the disappointment for now. If I was pregnant right now I'd be due on Halloween and I wouldn't want to put a kid through the horror of growing up with that kind of birthday :P Besides, professionally that time of the school year really SUCKS to have a baby. I'll be happy if it happens anytime in the next couple months. I'd be THRILLED if we got pregnant in March/April or August/Septemnber. Those months would be GREAT for my job. Of course, I would welcome a miracle at any time of year. I really want this...our family needs this.

Today is 2 months since we lost our angel. The pain has lessened but I still miss her and I know I always will. Jason and I are having more good days now which is nice. Maddie helped us grow stronger as a couple and I can't thank her enough for that. We are both ready to move into the next chapter of our lives and become parents - start our own little family. She has helped us to realize this. Baby dust to you all!