| annas-momma | |
 | Age: 26 Country: US Province/region: City: Chicago Partner: Brandon Children: Yes, 2 Pregnant: Not anymore Occupation: Stay at home Momma and University of Phoenix student. |
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A friend of mine that has been suffering through infertility for 4 years is finally pregnant! YAY! She had a miscarriage at 6 weeks that 4 years ago, which brought the doctors to find that she has many different problems working against her. It was one of the most painful things to ever see my friend go though. Shes been heartbroken for the last 4 years. So you can see why we are all so excited that she is pregnant! She had an ultrasound and there is one baby (she went through IUI twice and the second time she said that she had the possibility of having triplets) and it had a steady heartbeat and all looks good so far at 8w5d.
So here is my question: Is it okay to send her a Congratulations card and gift right away? Honestly, I'll probably send a card either way... but I would like to get a little blanket or toy or something to go along with it. I ask this because she is only sharing this information with family and CLOSE friends... so I'm sure she is waiting to tell everyone else until she is 12 weeks. Shes a high risk pregnancy and I know shes also worried about suffering through miscarriage again.
I'm sorry if I sound rude or stupid... I just don't know the protocall for this situation.
Thank you all in advance.
9 Comments on Any and All Advice is Appreciated.
tgal - Wednesday, 25 Feb
This is a little late because I don't check this site as often anymore but just wanted to let you know that I had the same situation. I REALLY hope that this does not happen for your friend, but I had a friend that finally got pregnant after 3 years through IUI. It was the 6th attempt and she too had the chance of 3, but only 1 stuck. We were super excited for them and when I told people I was pregnant with my Anna she had gotten me a book on pregnancy and a baby blanket (I was 12 weeks at the time). I loved that gift so much that I thought I would do the same thing for her. They had their 8 week appt and it had a good strong heartbeat and everything looked great so I gave her the gift. 2 weeks later the baby's heart stopped and she had to have a D& C. I felt so bad that I had given her that gift because now she had to look at it every day and realize what she wasn't going to get. Unfortunately it has been over a year since she lost that baby and has not gotten pregnant again. Like I said, I really hope this does not happen to your friend, but maybe you could send her a card now and then when she gets to 12 weeks you could send her a little gift?
mollyp2121 - Tuesday, 24 Feb
they say that the best time to feel confident the pregnancy is going to hold is when you hear the heart beat. I think that your idea of a card and little gift would show her how much you love and support her. I'm so happy for her and I really hope that this one hold on all the way to the end!!!
amyeliz - Tuesday, 24 Feb
Nita, I think a card and flowers sounds like a good idea. Maybe wait until she finds out the sex (if she does) to send her a gender specific blanket/outfit or toy.
cassandrans - Tuesday, 24 Feb
Definitely get her something but I would wait on baby gifts. I'm sure she's still very nervous and she may be superstitious about receiving gifts for the baby yet. Congratulations to her!!! How exciting.
kaeljoval - Tuesday, 24 Feb
I would get her a card or a small pretty plant or something. The risk of a miscarriage in high risk pregnancy can remain high for much longer than the normal 12 weeks or even in bad cases, the whole pregnancy, so if you think this way, you may never get her something. :]
tabatha - Tuesday, 24 Feb
i agree with what everyone has said so far..a card and something nice for her. i prob wouldn't do anything for the baby yet.. : )
aprilraine - Tuesday, 24 Feb
I like the flowers or chocolate idea to go with the card, and then maybe wait till she's probably halfway through the pregnancy and get her a baby gift :)
luvbeingamom - Tuesday, 24 Feb
I would send cards, flowers, or a trinket for her. But i wouldn't make it baby related just yet. Just in case she looses the baby (which of course we all hope she doesn't) she doesn't have yet another reminder of her pain.
prettybird - Tuesday, 24 Feb
I would do a card and maybe some pretty little flowers.
:)
| 24-2-2009 - Any and All Advice is Appreciated. |  My mood while writing this blog:excited! |
A friend of mine that has been suffering through infertility for 4 years is finally pregnant! YAY! She had a miscarriage at 6 weeks that 4 years ago, which brought the doctors to find that she has many different problems working against her. It was one of the most painful things to ever see my friend go though. Shes been heartbroken for the last 4 years. So you can see why we are all so excited that she is pregnant! She had an ultrasound and there is one baby (she went through IUI twice and the second time she said that she had the possibility of having triplets) and it had a steady heartbeat and all looks good so far at 8w5d.
So here is my question: Is it okay to send her a Congratulations card and gift right away? Honestly, I'll probably send a card either way... but I would like to get a little blanket or toy or something to go along with it. I ask this because she is only sharing this information with family and CLOSE friends... so I'm sure she is waiting to tell everyone else until she is 12 weeks. Shes a high risk pregnancy and I know shes also worried about suffering through miscarriage again.
I'm sorry if I sound rude or stupid... I just don't know the protocall for this situation.
Thank you all in advance.
9 Comments on Any and All Advice is Appreciated.
tgal - Wednesday, 25 Feb
This is a little late because I don't check this site as often anymore but just wanted to let you know that I had the same situation. I REALLY hope that this does not happen for your friend, but I had a friend that finally got pregnant after 3 years through IUI. It was the 6th attempt and she too had the chance of 3, but only 1 stuck. We were super excited for them and when I told people I was pregnant with my Anna she had gotten me a book on pregnancy and a baby blanket (I was 12 weeks at the time). I loved that gift so much that I thought I would do the same thing for her. They had their 8 week appt and it had a good strong heartbeat and everything looked great so I gave her the gift. 2 weeks later the baby's heart stopped and she had to have a D& C. I felt so bad that I had given her that gift because now she had to look at it every day and realize what she wasn't going to get. Unfortunately it has been over a year since she lost that baby and has not gotten pregnant again. Like I said, I really hope this does not happen to your friend, but maybe you could send her a card now and then when she gets to 12 weeks you could send her a little gift?
mollyp2121 - Tuesday, 24 Feb
they say that the best time to feel confident the pregnancy is going to hold is when you hear the heart beat. I think that your idea of a card and little gift would show her how much you love and support her. I'm so happy for her and I really hope that this one hold on all the way to the end!!!
amyeliz - Tuesday, 24 Feb
Nita, I think a card and flowers sounds like a good idea. Maybe wait until she finds out the sex (if she does) to send her a gender specific blanket/outfit or toy.
cassandrans - Tuesday, 24 Feb
Definitely get her something but I would wait on baby gifts. I'm sure she's still very nervous and she may be superstitious about receiving gifts for the baby yet. Congratulations to her!!! How exciting.
kaeljoval - Tuesday, 24 Feb
I would get her a card or a small pretty plant or something. The risk of a miscarriage in high risk pregnancy can remain high for much longer than the normal 12 weeks or even in bad cases, the whole pregnancy, so if you think this way, you may never get her something. :]
tabatha - Tuesday, 24 Feb
i agree with what everyone has said so far..a card and something nice for her. i prob wouldn't do anything for the baby yet.. : )
aprilraine - Tuesday, 24 Feb
I like the flowers or chocolate idea to go with the card, and then maybe wait till she's probably halfway through the pregnancy and get her a baby gift :)
luvbeingamom - Tuesday, 24 Feb
I would send cards, flowers, or a trinket for her. But i wouldn't make it baby related just yet. Just in case she looses the baby (which of course we all hope she doesn't) she doesn't have yet another reminder of her pain.
prettybird - Tuesday, 24 Feb
I would do a card and maybe some pretty little flowers.
:)
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