| annas-momma | |
 | Age: 26 Country: US Province/region: City: Chicago Partner: Brandon Children: Yes, 2 Pregnant: Not anymore Occupation: Stay at home Momma and University of Phoenix student. |
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I just want to thank anyone who responds to this in advance.
The church we attend has a summer camp for children ages 18mo-36mo. It goes from the end of June til August. It is a 10 week long camp and its Monday and Wednesdays from 9am-11:45am at the church. I really would like to put Anna in this camp, but honestly I'm nervous and I don't know if I should.
Anna has been very clingy lately. When I say "clingy", I mean if I go to the bathroom and don't let her in with me, she will stand outside the door and SCREAM and cry. Then when I come back out, she will need to be held and will continue to cry... as if I am going to leave her still. If I put my shoes on for ANY reason, or even pick them up to move them or put them away, she runs into her room and grabs her shoes and says, "Shoe On! Bye bye! Momma! Bye! Shoe On!" and so on and thus forth. She will stand by the front door and stand guard until she realizes that I'm not leaving her. If I take the garbage out to the garage, she will stand and scream like she was being pinched. When we go somewhere in the car... when I get out of the car and walk around to her side, she will scream until I get to her door because she seems to think that I'm leaving her in the car. When I put her down for a nap, she cries and thinks I'm going to leave her in there forever.
So to make a long story short, she lives in fear that I'm going to leave her.
Now, Brandon leaves for long periods of time for work. Just this week he was gone from Monday til Thursday. So I personally think that shes worried that I'm going to leave her, too. Daddy always eventually comes back... but 3 or 4 days of him gone feels like a lifetime to an almost 2 year old. *God I still can't believe shes almost two!!* I think shes worried I'm going to leave her, too. But I never studied child development extensively so I'm not exactly sure that I'm right. Maybe this is just a normal phase for her age and it has nothing to do with Brandon leaving for work.
This leaves me to a couple of different questions I have. First of all, should I put her in the summer camp?? I don't know if this is going to teach her that "Mommy always comes back" or if shes going to end up scarred for life. Okay... I don't literally mean "scarred for life"... but I'm sure you understand what I mean. Maybe she will cry for the first couple of weeks and then LOVE being dropped off to play with her friends. Or maybe she will end up screaming the whole time and I'll get a call to go pick her up. I really.do.not.know.what.to
4 Comments on Help Please? I need advice!
cassandrans - Thursday, 2 Apr
Man, leaving your baby is so hard huh?? Since I've started working at a pre-school I notice that it's so much harder on the parents than it is the kids. I can tell you from a teacher/child care providers view that it is much easier for the child. They may cry for a little while but once they see how much the other kids are having they will want to join in. We like to tell our parents that you should ALWAYS say goodbye, promise you will be back in X amount of time and that you love them. Then wave or kiss and walk out the door. A lot of times the kids freak out at first but by the time the parent gets to their car the kid is off playing. I also think it may be partly Anna's age that she seems "clingy". But Brandon being gone could also play into it. Lily is like that when I grab my shoes and her daddy is home every night! lol. Also, I know at our preschool we LOVE it when parents come into our rooms and volunteer! Most places would like it. It helps to entertain kids more than you would believe. Maybe you could talk to the camp director and ask if it is okay for you to stay the first day or maybe wait a week until she gets use to it. I'm sure the camp director would be a great resource also. They would probably know great techniques of making the transition much easier on Anna and you. Try talking to them and letting them know your fears and what they do if she DOES cry the whole time (which is really unlikely although I've seen it happen). I'm sure that would help ease your mind too. About preparing her for Brandon leaving, I'm not sure. That seems so hard (and you're a strong woman for going through that too!!!)) I know that when Gary leaves for work (granted he ONLY works 12 hours a day) he goes into Lily's room and gives her a little shake and a kiss. He'll tell her he's going to work and he loves her and will see her after school. And the first thing she says every morning when she wakes up, "Daddy at work." =) So I don't know if that would help Anna at all. I really hope it all works out for you. If you decide to send her I pray the transition is easy for Anna (and YOU!). ....and I hope I didn't sound to preachy in my book here. hehe. But sincerely....GOOD LUCK!!!!!!
masonandevasmommy - Thursday, 2 Apr
Ok, well as far as the summer camp goes, I think you need to do what you feel comfortable doing. I, personally, am going to enroll my daughter (who will be two in June) in a pre-school this fall for two half days per week. I am doing this because I think that she needs the socialization...plus, I think she needs the challenge of learning in a structured environment...as they actually do follow a curriculum at the pre-school. She just is giving me the clear signs that she needs to be challenged. She does not have the issues when I leave, as your daughter does though. Second. as far as your husband being gone...my husband is in the military and leaves for weeks-months at a time. I don't do a whole lot to prepare my daughter, other than to explain to her (when she asks for daddy) that he is gone for work and will be back on whatever date. I also make sure that I am showing her pictures of daddy constantly and that she is able to talk to him on the phone. So...bottom line, do what you feel comfortable doing. If you are not comfortable with it, she will sense it! Good luck!!
lovingmytoddler - Thursday, 2 Apr
Okay well, there can be two sides to this. First, it's good to have your child interact with other kids to open up more. Secondly, I would leave her there because it's like Daycare. I know many kids that open up more. I put my daughter in Baby Gymnastics class so she can play with the other kids, and I get to be there to watch her. And she gets a good interaction with the other kids and family. SHe has opened up alot. But I htink most baby's will always be clilngy to mommy. My daughter loves to play wiht the other kids but when I am around she always has to yell my name and tell me to come wiht her. Other than that a 2 and half hour camp won't hurt her. Maybe you can try and see if you can stay and watch, Hey let me say, My daughter loved the class and although I am behind the window watching her, I just enjoy seeng her playing wiht the kids and having fun. It shouldn't hurt her any.
allsmiles86 - Thursday, 2 Apr
I dont think I would put her in the camp. It wont scar her for life, but it wont help the situation. When my little brother was around Annas age he would do the same thing and just scream and scream. He eventually got over it. When Brandon leaves dont wake her up. Thats way too early, and it will just upset her more. Just re-assure her that daddy will be home and he loves her. I think its just a stage. Good luck!
| 02-4-2009 - Help Please? I need advice! |  My mood while writing this blog:Frustrated. |
I just want to thank anyone who responds to this in advance.
The church we attend has a summer camp for children ages 18mo-36mo. It goes from the end of June til August. It is a 10 week long camp and its Monday and Wednesdays from 9am-11:45am at the church. I really would like to put Anna in this camp, but honestly I'm nervous and I don't know if I should.
Anna has been very clingy lately. When I say "clingy", I mean if I go to the bathroom and don't let her in with me, she will stand outside the door and SCREAM and cry. Then when I come back out, she will need to be held and will continue to cry... as if I am going to leave her still. If I put my shoes on for ANY reason, or even pick them up to move them or put them away, she runs into her room and grabs her shoes and says, "Shoe On! Bye bye! Momma! Bye! Shoe On!" and so on and thus forth. She will stand by the front door and stand guard until she realizes that I'm not leaving her. If I take the garbage out to the garage, she will stand and scream like she was being pinched. When we go somewhere in the car... when I get out of the car and walk around to her side, she will scream until I get to her door because she seems to think that I'm leaving her in the car. When I put her down for a nap, she cries and thinks I'm going to leave her in there forever.
So to make a long story short, she lives in fear that I'm going to leave her.
Now, Brandon leaves for long periods of time for work. Just this week he was gone from Monday til Thursday. So I personally think that shes worried that I'm going to leave her, too. Daddy always eventually comes back... but 3 or 4 days of him gone feels like a lifetime to an almost 2 year old. *God I still can't believe shes almost two!!* I think shes worried I'm going to leave her, too. But I never studied child development extensively so I'm not exactly sure that I'm right. Maybe this is just a normal phase for her age and it has nothing to do with Brandon leaving for work.
This leaves me to a couple of different questions I have. First of all, should I put her in the summer camp?? I don't know if this is going to teach her that "Mommy always comes back" or if shes going to end up scarred for life. Okay... I don't literally mean "scarred for life"... but I'm sure you understand what I mean. Maybe she will cry for the first couple of weeks and then LOVE being dropped off to play with her friends. Or maybe she will end up screaming the whole time and I'll get a call to go pick her up. I really.do.not.know.what.to
Second of all, is there a better way I should prepare her for when
Brandon leaves? Because right now we spend the evening together all
three of us and then he leaves in the morning. Most of the time, he has
to leave before she even wakes up in the morning. So to her, he leaves
in the middle of the night. Should I wake her up at 3:30 in the morning
so she can know hes leaving?! No offense, but that just doesn't sound
right... errr... what should I do?
Anywho, any and all advice is appreciated. I'm just so lost right
now.... its beginning to get frustrating. What should I do? Is any
other kid like this?
Thank you!!!!!!!!!
4 Comments on Help Please? I need advice!
cassandrans - Thursday, 2 Apr
Man, leaving your baby is so hard huh?? Since I've started working at a pre-school I notice that it's so much harder on the parents than it is the kids. I can tell you from a teacher/child care providers view that it is much easier for the child. They may cry for a little while but once they see how much the other kids are having they will want to join in. We like to tell our parents that you should ALWAYS say goodbye, promise you will be back in X amount of time and that you love them. Then wave or kiss and walk out the door. A lot of times the kids freak out at first but by the time the parent gets to their car the kid is off playing. I also think it may be partly Anna's age that she seems "clingy". But Brandon being gone could also play into it. Lily is like that when I grab my shoes and her daddy is home every night! lol. Also, I know at our preschool we LOVE it when parents come into our rooms and volunteer! Most places would like it. It helps to entertain kids more than you would believe. Maybe you could talk to the camp director and ask if it is okay for you to stay the first day or maybe wait a week until she gets use to it. I'm sure the camp director would be a great resource also. They would probably know great techniques of making the transition much easier on Anna and you. Try talking to them and letting them know your fears and what they do if she DOES cry the whole time (which is really unlikely although I've seen it happen). I'm sure that would help ease your mind too. About preparing her for Brandon leaving, I'm not sure. That seems so hard (and you're a strong woman for going through that too!!!)) I know that when Gary leaves for work (granted he ONLY works 12 hours a day) he goes into Lily's room and gives her a little shake and a kiss. He'll tell her he's going to work and he loves her and will see her after school. And the first thing she says every morning when she wakes up, "Daddy at work." =) So I don't know if that would help Anna at all. I really hope it all works out for you. If you decide to send her I pray the transition is easy for Anna (and YOU!). ....and I hope I didn't sound to preachy in my book here. hehe. But sincerely....GOOD LUCK!!!!!!
masonandevasmommy - Thursday, 2 Apr
Ok, well as far as the summer camp goes, I think you need to do what you feel comfortable doing. I, personally, am going to enroll my daughter (who will be two in June) in a pre-school this fall for two half days per week. I am doing this because I think that she needs the socialization...plus, I think she needs the challenge of learning in a structured environment...as they actually do follow a curriculum at the pre-school. She just is giving me the clear signs that she needs to be challenged. She does not have the issues when I leave, as your daughter does though. Second. as far as your husband being gone...my husband is in the military and leaves for weeks-months at a time. I don't do a whole lot to prepare my daughter, other than to explain to her (when she asks for daddy) that he is gone for work and will be back on whatever date. I also make sure that I am showing her pictures of daddy constantly and that she is able to talk to him on the phone. So...bottom line, do what you feel comfortable doing. If you are not comfortable with it, she will sense it! Good luck!!
lovingmytoddler - Thursday, 2 Apr
Okay well, there can be two sides to this. First, it's good to have your child interact with other kids to open up more. Secondly, I would leave her there because it's like Daycare. I know many kids that open up more. I put my daughter in Baby Gymnastics class so she can play with the other kids, and I get to be there to watch her. And she gets a good interaction with the other kids and family. SHe has opened up alot. But I htink most baby's will always be clilngy to mommy. My daughter loves to play wiht the other kids but when I am around she always has to yell my name and tell me to come wiht her. Other than that a 2 and half hour camp won't hurt her. Maybe you can try and see if you can stay and watch, Hey let me say, My daughter loved the class and although I am behind the window watching her, I just enjoy seeng her playing wiht the kids and having fun. It shouldn't hurt her any.
allsmiles86 - Thursday, 2 Apr
I dont think I would put her in the camp. It wont scar her for life, but it wont help the situation. When my little brother was around Annas age he would do the same thing and just scream and scream. He eventually got over it. When Brandon leaves dont wake her up. Thats way too early, and it will just upset her more. Just re-assure her that daddy will be home and he loves her. I think its just a stage. Good luck!
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