| annas-momma | |
 | Age: 26 Country: US Province/region: City: Chicago Partner: Brandon Children: Yes, 2 Pregnant: Not anymore Occupation: Stay at home Momma and University of Phoenix student. |
| Online: More than 3 months ago Last updated: 202 days ago. Member since: 1513 days | |
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Okay. So.
I am in a wedding in June. I am currently 4 weeks pregnant. I don't plan on telling anyone until we are 12 weeks... just to be safe. However, I am having a hell of a time figuring out what to do about my bridesmaid dress, shoes, etc.
The wedding is outdoors. The bride already picked my dress for me (without me going with or trying it on) and I was able to deal with that. I asked her if I could add straps (6 months pregnant, my D boobies will be a size to fear by then) and she said I could, although she rather I didn't. Another bridesmaid is adding the straps, too... so that makes me feel better.
However, she wants us all to wear 3 inch platform heels. And she wants us to buy all our stuff NOW... 6 months before the wedding. I am not telling the bride that I am pregnant until 12 weeks. When she asked me to be a bridesmaid, I told her that Brandon and I were talking about TTC and she was okay with that. Now, she doesn't full "grasp" pregnancy. When I was pregnant with my daughter, she seemed confused. Like... she won't understand why I don't want to walk through the grass in 3 inch platform heels. That, and once she finds out I am pregnant, she will blurt it out to the world. She cannot keep a secret.
One of the bridesmaids is one of my best friends I have had since high school. I love her to death. I am thinking that we need to tell her and her husband (who is the bride's brother) that I am pregnant. That way they can help us get her to calm down about not needing to buy everything now and not needing to get worked up over straps and not need tall heels... because honestly, none of the bridesmaids are going to want to walk through the grass in giant heels.
I feel like a bitch, and I am sorry if I come off as such. I'm just having a hard time dealing with this bride... on so many levels even beyond the wedding planning.
I see my doctor after the 1st of the year... sometime in the week of the 4th... they are calling me on the 4th to schedule the appointment. I think after I see the doctor, I think we will tell those friends of ours that I am pregnant. I think. I would rather not tell anyone, but I think we are going to need them to know to help us with everything.
Sorry for the long rant. I think I just need to reevaluate being in this wedding alltogether.
3 Comments on In a wedding... help!
WendySue - Thursday, 31 Dec
I would tell her you don't have the money right now and it's going to take a while to get it together. Is the dress one where the shoes are going to show? Personally I don't think the bride is going to worry about it as she's walking down the aisle. I would "plan" on wearing the shoes, but then wear something comfortable instead and then put them on for pictures. She's not going to stop the wedding and tell you to go put the correct shoes on. If she gets mad at you later just tell her they wouldn't fit because of your swollen feet. She may be mad, but eventually when she gets pregnant herself, she'll forgive you. :)
R-N-E-Bump - Wednesday, 30 Dec
I was in my best friend's wedding when I was 14 tweeks pregnant and it was such a hassle trying to get the dress to fit properly knowing my belly would be expanding and not knowing how quickly and to what degree. But in the end it was definitely worth the effort. It was such a honor to stand up for her. Now I will say that she knew I was pregnant when she asked me to be in her wedding and she was willing to let me do whatever I needed to do to accomidate my situation, make sure I was comfortable, etc. I know you said your friend has a blabber mouth but it would probably be better to tell her in case she doesn't want a very pregnant person in her line up. I would hope she's not that shallow but you never know. I also agree with the previous post...just say NO to the heels!!!
allsmiles86 - Wednesday, 30 Dec
If you dont want to tell her until week 12, thats fine. Dont feel obligated. On the brides perspective, this is her wedding and she wants it HER WAY! However, you shouldnt have to be forced to get your dress now. Tell her that you are a bit short on money and are going to wait. Make sure the dress shop will hold your dress though, to make sure that you still get the one she wants. Dont be afraid to add straps. To each their own ya know? She already picked the dresses and its only fair that you are comfortable. As for the shoes. I would say no way. If you want to tell her no to the shoes, you could always use the excuse that you dont have the best of balance and you would rather be shorter than all the other bridesmaids than fall on your face and cause a scene during her wedding. Maybe you could wear the shoes just during pictures. She has to be able to work with her bridesmaids. Not only are you going to be unbalanced at 6 months, but your feet will probably be swollen too. I hope everything works out for you! Congrats again on the BFP
| 30-12-2009 - In a wedding... help! |  My mood while writing this blog:Torn. |
Okay. So.
I am in a wedding in June. I am currently 4 weeks pregnant. I don't plan on telling anyone until we are 12 weeks... just to be safe. However, I am having a hell of a time figuring out what to do about my bridesmaid dress, shoes, etc.
The wedding is outdoors. The bride already picked my dress for me (without me going with or trying it on) and I was able to deal with that. I asked her if I could add straps (6 months pregnant, my D boobies will be a size to fear by then) and she said I could, although she rather I didn't. Another bridesmaid is adding the straps, too... so that makes me feel better.
However, she wants us all to wear 3 inch platform heels. And she wants us to buy all our stuff NOW... 6 months before the wedding. I am not telling the bride that I am pregnant until 12 weeks. When she asked me to be a bridesmaid, I told her that Brandon and I were talking about TTC and she was okay with that. Now, she doesn't full "grasp" pregnancy. When I was pregnant with my daughter, she seemed confused. Like... she won't understand why I don't want to walk through the grass in 3 inch platform heels. That, and once she finds out I am pregnant, she will blurt it out to the world. She cannot keep a secret.
One of the bridesmaids is one of my best friends I have had since high school. I love her to death. I am thinking that we need to tell her and her husband (who is the bride's brother) that I am pregnant. That way they can help us get her to calm down about not needing to buy everything now and not needing to get worked up over straps and not need tall heels... because honestly, none of the bridesmaids are going to want to walk through the grass in giant heels.
I feel like a bitch, and I am sorry if I come off as such. I'm just having a hard time dealing with this bride... on so many levels even beyond the wedding planning.
I see my doctor after the 1st of the year... sometime in the week of the 4th... they are calling me on the 4th to schedule the appointment. I think after I see the doctor, I think we will tell those friends of ours that I am pregnant. I think. I would rather not tell anyone, but I think we are going to need them to know to help us with everything.
Sorry for the long rant. I think I just need to reevaluate being in this wedding alltogether.
3 Comments on In a wedding... help!
WendySue - Thursday, 31 Dec
I would tell her you don't have the money right now and it's going to take a while to get it together. Is the dress one where the shoes are going to show? Personally I don't think the bride is going to worry about it as she's walking down the aisle. I would "plan" on wearing the shoes, but then wear something comfortable instead and then put them on for pictures. She's not going to stop the wedding and tell you to go put the correct shoes on. If she gets mad at you later just tell her they wouldn't fit because of your swollen feet. She may be mad, but eventually when she gets pregnant herself, she'll forgive you. :)
R-N-E-Bump - Wednesday, 30 Dec
I was in my best friend's wedding when I was 14 tweeks pregnant and it was such a hassle trying to get the dress to fit properly knowing my belly would be expanding and not knowing how quickly and to what degree. But in the end it was definitely worth the effort. It was such a honor to stand up for her. Now I will say that she knew I was pregnant when she asked me to be in her wedding and she was willing to let me do whatever I needed to do to accomidate my situation, make sure I was comfortable, etc. I know you said your friend has a blabber mouth but it would probably be better to tell her in case she doesn't want a very pregnant person in her line up. I would hope she's not that shallow but you never know. I also agree with the previous post...just say NO to the heels!!!
allsmiles86 - Wednesday, 30 Dec
If you dont want to tell her until week 12, thats fine. Dont feel obligated. On the brides perspective, this is her wedding and she wants it HER WAY! However, you shouldnt have to be forced to get your dress now. Tell her that you are a bit short on money and are going to wait. Make sure the dress shop will hold your dress though, to make sure that you still get the one she wants. Dont be afraid to add straps. To each their own ya know? She already picked the dresses and its only fair that you are comfortable. As for the shoes. I would say no way. If you want to tell her no to the shoes, you could always use the excuse that you dont have the best of balance and you would rather be shorter than all the other bridesmaids than fall on your face and cause a scene during her wedding. Maybe you could wear the shoes just during pictures. She has to be able to work with her bridesmaids. Not only are you going to be unbalanced at 6 months, but your feet will probably be swollen too. I hope everything works out for you! Congrats again on the BFP
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