16-7-2008 - Feeling worse now

My mood while writing this blog: miserable

The only way I could deal with all the crying and shit feelings was to write it all down, or should I say I scrawled it down on some paper I found lying about, 7 pages on paper actually. Think my boyfriend is freaking out at me and dosnt think I can go on anymore. All I did was cry my eyes out and lie in bed and its the same everyday for the last 3 months. My head is busting now from crying and I have just about had enough of everything.

I dont want to go into it all again as I have it all out on paper beside me, better than being in my head. But is there any way I can get help? I am trying also to cut down on the anti depreseents I have been on for years, I felt worse i thought when I was taking them and today was a nightmare and its my second day on half a one. i know its not all them and people keep saying its hormones but this is not normal. it isnt normal to sit in your room all day and night with the curtains shut, either sleeping or crying. having to eat in there and stare at the wall because you cant face leaving that room. The words cheer up are not coming to me at all. If it where that easy i wouldnt be in this situatuion right now,

is anyone else on this site as miserable as i am? or am i just some weirdo that needs locked up..