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14-8-2009 - Is my thinking off?

My mood while writing this blog: stressed slightly.

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okay- before I start I just gotta say how much those little icon smilies thingy annoy me. I don't get them. Anywho-
I am just wondering how you ladies feel about the actual giving birth process. I feel like something is wrong with me because i can't see the beauty in it. I mean i am sooooooo excited to meet my little boy and to have my baby and it's going to be amazing when i look down and he is in my arms, but the whole idea of pushing him out i think is kinda gross. I said this is my parents ans they like freaked out on me, they are very alternative and I feel I am being very alternative hiring a Doula and going to Bradley Method classes. I feel like i should be thinking about how beautiful the whole thing is, but i just can get my head to that place. I've seen pictures of the head and body coming out of the mom and I just feel a little sick to my tummy. Whats wrong with me. I told my parents i didn't want Jed to look down there when he is coming out cause you don't recover from that, I was half joking but they took it really seriously. I feel like i'm split one part of me is very open and spiritual and i love the idea of a natrual birth, but the other side is like I want the run of the mill births, I don't want a water birth, or a birthing ball birth i just wanna be on that table and pushing birth.
I feel like I should not be thinking this way because I know how amazing having this baby will be, but i think because my folks are so spiritual( and mind you spiritual not religious ) that I sorta rebel against their thinking. I know they only want what i want, but, I feel like if i told them i didn't want to do birthing classes or something they'd make me do it anyway. I change how i feel everyday about this. how do you all feel? Am i way off base here? I mean I'm not 60's love child type, i'm very down to earth and modern. I want a healthy baby and in the end however i get him here is besides the point, but i just feel something is wrong with me for not seeing the whole birthing process as something beautiful.

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2 Comments on Is my thinking off?


happyforest - Friday, 14 Aug
you have to do what makes you feel the best! and you wont know exactly what that is until you are there. i thought i wanted to go all natural, but i ended up having to be induced, which hurt soooo bad i got epi. but in the end im glad it went that way and that i was open to other options bc it was the opposite of what i had planned for. i really enjoyed my birthing expierence. try not to feel weird about your man watching the birth!! it really is amazing, and its his child's birth too and i think he should get to watch baby come into the world. i wish i would have let my fiance tape the birth, i told him he could watch but not tape. now i wish he would have cause i would like to have that moment captured forever. good luck and dont feel bad if the bradley method doesnt work for you!!

mommy-ofa-boy - Friday, 14 Aug
im that other mom you were talking about but shoot you have choices you can schedule a c sectioon if you dont want to push its up to you noone else i ques you cansay i am kinda spiritual because i think its amazing like there is no way a babys boney head should be able to inch his way out of my boney vagina but it works and then i am like well we are mean tto feel this pain so i will indure it type of girl but hey looking into your choices and dont waste your money just for the perception your into this stuff its not for everyone :) good luck

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