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25-10-2009 - a little help please?

My mood while writing this blog: tired

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I know i heard all the stories about those firt few weeks of childrearing, but its so hard.And rhys is an amazingly good baby.He doesn't cry that much and when he does he can be comforted pretty easily. He alreadyis lifting his head and looks into your eyes. The only thing that is super hard is that he has decided that his " up" hours shuld be between midnight and four am. I look into his bassinet and there he is WIDE AWAKE staring up at me. Moving around is still kinda hard for him because of the stitches i got, not to mention everything going back to where it was.( my pelvic bone hurts). Anyway- I go to bed at ten and sleep usually til midnight, the fiancee stays up with the baby. At midnight, he usually comes to bed andwithin a half hour Rhys is up crying for food, or a changing. or Just to be held. He is a very good self soother but during these hours nothing seems to make him happy expect being up and about. We have tried to keep him up more during the day hours or keep the house loud and active during the day to make a difference between the day and night. I also know i'm suppose to nap while he is sleeping but i'm an awful napper. My mom has been over everyday to clean the house, do laundry ad just hold Rhys so that i can do my sitz baths or just rest. My fiancee is there to help when i need him, but he seems to have a certain lack of interest. In the hospital he would go pick Rhys up and was just loving onhim. Maybe its because he got to leave every night after visiting hours ended? He cooks meals for me and is over all sweet, but he is also lazy. He just watches tv all day and complains how tired he is. Now mind you the last two nights i've had him up ear plugs in and i've stayed up with Rhys til 4:30am. No reason we should both not sleep. BUT THEN HE STILL COMPLAINS HE IS TIRED!!! I know he is still mourning his old life. So am I. I feel like i'll never get the hang of this, but i have to remind myself, it's only been a week. And things * will* get easier and better. I try to tell my fiancee how much i love him, and try to give us some " us" time. But he really seems like he is annoyed with the baby. He makes jokes that are not funny and cries like the baby, back at the baby which drives me nuuutttsss. I can only handle one cry right now. My mom folded his laundry for him, and he said he'd put it away, which was 3 days ago and he didn't and so my mom came over today and saw it and asked him to put it away but he was like "oh i'll get to it" but he doesn't and i end up taking care of it. I should only be thinking about the baby,but instead i'm worring if he is okay, or if he is happy or too tired. I tell him to go out for a few hours or to walk the dog so he doesn't get stir crazy, which he doesn't. i'm holding on by the thread. I just wish he'd go above and beyond. He is meeting me half way but thats about it. I know he loves Rhys but i think he is really frustraed too. I hope we can work together to get through this hard time. Sigh.

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3 Comments on a little help please?


excitedmisty (misty) - Monday, 26 Oct
I haven't had my LO yet...but from what I read and what i've seen working with new moms that these feelings are quite common: not sure when you'll get the hang of it, how to get the LO to sleep, and dealing with the other "baby"...there's a lot going on, your body is reshifting, hormone levels are up, and your fiance probably isn't sure what to do either...when you get to your breaking point make sure you communicate it with him...i'm sorry i can't be of more help! but hang in there! it's got to get better!!!!

BabySaunders - Sunday, 25 Oct
The best I can say is supposedly it gets better. DH and I have talked about how the first few months are going to be A LOT. I've told him so many times that our son is going to drive us to the breaking point but we have to get through it. Just keep truckin. In a few months you'll both be head over heels in love with him and he'll sleep longer hours through the night. Just keep doing what you're doing. As you said, it's only been a week.

SPUDinTHEoven (Tina) - Sunday, 25 Oct
Keep your chin up hun! Things will get better!!! Everyone always says that the first few weeks and even months are the hardest. Feel better soon!

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