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14-4-2008 - Just Me

My mood while writing this blog: depressed

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So. I am 29 weeks pregnant. Feel absolutely huge! And my boyfriend just moved to Arizona last tuesday... for good. He will not be here for the birth. Not working... so he is not helping me with any bills and i am just so sad he is gone. My son is due in june and i barely have anything for him. I can't afford anything for him. i live w/ my dad who is no help... actually didnt want me to have him in the first place. my fam is agreeing w/ him. so most days i go to work... miss Tony in AZ... cry and sleep. I feel so lost. I am suppose to move to AZ after the baby is born... but up and leaving everything to me is scary. I understand why he left... he hated rochester when he came here in the first place. he lived in az prior. he got in some legal trouble and decided to leave here. now he is gone. it hurts so bad not having anyone here. i was sick all day today... and i wish he could have been here w/ me to just rub my back... or just be there... instead he was enjoying a bbq in 'az telling me he loves me. i just miss him. i am scared what is going to happen after my son is born... how i will pay for anything. scared.

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