03-11-2008 - alone

My mood while writing this blog: indifferent

So it's been 6 days since my husband left back to afghanistan.. it was so much harder to say goodbye this time around.. probably because of hormones but still hard. The first night alone with 2 week old Garrett was really scarey and frustrating when he wanted to be awake between the hours of 2 and 5am. Thankfully, he's been pretty predictable these last few nights.. making life a little easier for me. I found that he sleeps sooo much better in his own room rather then in a bassinet next to my bed.. and I sleep better too cause I'm not listening to his sweet little sleepy noises. I love him soo much and I do enjoy being a mom but I'm sad when I think about how much my husband will miss and I often wonder if the baby finds me entertaining and fun like his daddy. He doesn't smile yet or do much so it's hard to tell. I try to spend as much time as I can talking to him, smiling, singing, and holding him but I still feel like it's not enough. I feel so wrapped up in fulfilling his needs that I wonder if I spend enough time "playing" with him. Does anybody else feel like this? I feel kindda lost in how to entertain a 3 weeker.

Anyways, besides that things are going decently.. he's starting to get on a more predictable schedule and breastfeeding is going just fine. It was hard the first week but now its cake... and I seem to make tons of milk.. so I'm very thankful for those things. I'm looking forward to my trip to texas in 3 weeks to spend time with my family and my in-laws for the holidays and have someone to help with the baby so that maybe one day.. I'll get that full cup of coffee in the morning!! lol. Anyways, I haven't been on the website much because my internet has been up and down randomly so now it's fixed and I'm not stressed about getting so much done around the house since it's just me and the baby now.. but don't think I'm ignoring you if I haven't replied to your comment. I hope everyone is doing wonderfully with their little ones!