26-12-2008 - I'm Slow

My mood while writing this blog: Bloated

After being a member of this site for nearly 3 weeks now it just occured to me that I could blog. One thing I really regretted about my first pregnancy, aside from the fact that it was the most miserable feeling ever, was that I regretted not journaling my emotions.

It is 10:39 WOW I must really be doing well considering I cannot remember the last time I lasted this late at night. Today I noticed that I really felt very emotionally violitile. Any little thing that peeved me quickly snowballed into a raging unreasonable anger. Once I became aware of it, I admitted it to myself and I have made a consious effort to divert my focus if anything had the potential to be irritating. Bless my husbands heart, he cleaned the kitchen and the bathrooms for me and has for the most part let me just be all day. He even took me to get my chinese food with no complaints. He must've sensed something in the air that today was not a good day to disagree with me,...about anything.

Lately the simple task of changing my bra from my support bra to my sport bra is excruciating. I am not new to the pains of pregnancy but tonight when I took my support bra off.....mind you I let "the girls" down slowly,.....but by the time they were "free" I had the sharpest of pain in my nipples. When I looked at them they were dark purple like they were deprived of oxygen. I swear it felt and looked like if I had touched them they would have started bleeding. Dispite all of this, I would rather my breast burst into flames and have morning sickness as bad as I had it with my first.

I think all in all what is eating at me the most is knowing with certainty that this is my girl. I guess I just need to get over it because IF its not then there won't be any third chances. This is it for me. I am a bit suprised that I even had a first child, let alone and looking forward to a second. Children change you. Children mature you. It's offcial, I've become my mother.