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22-7-2009 - update

My mood while writing this blog: at peace

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I am offically having my second miscarriage for this year. I started spotting on monday and by Wednesday it was like a normal period. Exept for the contractions which come in waves like in labor but so far it isn't anything I can't handle with only a hot water bottle and some Nurofen Plus. But the bleeding seems to come and go, it isn't a continual flow like a menstral period which has me a little concerned that it will indeed get worse but I am keeping my fingers crossed. My doctor said that my numbers are falling very very quickly which I guess is a good thing. I am not sure what my numbers were prior to the ultrasound with no heart beat, but on Friday they were 3852 (pretty low anyway), 3224 on Monday then only 1000 on Wednesday which is a big drop. I will have to have a D&C if I don't stop bleeding by next week, and I am hoping that I won't have to do that.

I don't know if we will ttc again. We have a beautiful daughter who will be 5 soon, and I can't describe how lucky I feel to have her. Like my Husband says, If we can only have one, at least we have the best one :) And now that she is a bit older, we would like to do some travelling with her and just in general move on to the next step in our lives. I am also up for a promotion at work, a position that I have been working towards for the past 11 years which will give me a lot more freedom to be flexible and do the whole school mum thing!

Thank you to everyone who has given me support during the past 7 months through what has been the most difficult of my life. I will pop in from time to time to see how everyone is. For my friends who are pregnant, have a happy and healthy pregnancy. For those still ttc, sticky baby dust to you all.

Thursday 23 July 2009

Tonight I have miscarried my Angel. ( beware this is tmi and more for my own reading) I feel so lucky that I have been able to see my precious baby. I delivered the sac at about 7pm tonight. It was about 4 cm and the baby was about 1cm. I could see a perfect little baby with little arm and leg buds and I will never forget it. Perfect in every way. I am sad that I will never get to see this baby grow up, but for some reason I feel like my baby is watching over me and telling me that everything will be ok.

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14 Comments on update


ryleighsmom - Monday, 3 Aug
Oh no, I just got home from vacation, and I read your post. I am SO SORRY, my heart is broken for you. Let me know if you need to talk, seems we are in the same situation in our lives...let me know if you decide to keep at the ttc...

hopefully3 - Thursday, 23 Jul
I was crying when I read this... But you have such a peace about you and I believe your baby is helping you be at peace! I am sorry for your loss hun and will be praying for you and your family

tto - Thursday, 23 Jul
I'm so sorry!!! I'm glad you were able to see and hold him or her. I know this is hard. I will be praying for you!

Tasha3WithWingsBailey - Thursday, 23 Jul
Very sorry to hear about your loss. Know that these things happen for a reason and we may never know that reason but know that it was done with the best intentions. I know there is nothing that one can say to make these things any better. I have had 3 in the past year and I know how hard it is to say goodbye. Just know that you are in my prayers and that what ever you decide to do in the future I wish you the best of luck. (((HUGS)))

mrsw - Thursday, 23 Jul
You poor girl. I feel your pain.
With my first m/c which was natural, I bled for 2 weeks, then had the actual loss and the bleeding stopped within a span of 4-5 hrs. I'm so sorry you're going through this again. My thoughts are with you :o(

HereComes4 - Thursday, 23 Jul
I am sorry for your loss. You seem like a wonderful person and mother. Enjoy your daughter, as you can now fully devote yourself to her. Good luck in your future and whatever you decide to do. Keep in touch and God Bless you and your family!

pinkmama - Thursday, 23 Jul
im so very sorry for your loss.. im glad you have such a loving husband and daughter by your side through it all. ill keep you in my prayers

claire louise - Thursday, 23 Jul
I am very sorry for your lose hun. Sending you and family hugs.xxxx

anna85 - Thursday, 23 Jul
I am so sorry hun i know how hard it is. I will be thinking of you!xxoo

Military~mommy - Wednesday, 22 Jul
I am sorry you are facing this again, but your outlook is really positive and I think you will be ok. I will miss seeing you on here, hugs, Shawn

cloudyish - Wednesday, 22 Jul
I am so sorry to hear about this. Saying goodbye is never easy and I'm wishing you peace throughout your journey. I'm glad you have such an amazing daughter to bring you joy even through your pain, now is the time to hold onto those who you love.

littlesunshine - Wednesday, 22 Jul
I am so sorry to hear that you are going through this again. You and your family are in my thoughts.

BabySaunders - Wednesday, 22 Jul
::sigh:: I'm so happy you have you're daughter that you love so dearly. We'll never know why you have gone through this pain, but I'm glad you have a supportive husband and wonderful child. I hope that if you ever decide to get pregnant again you will have faith and not be worried about what you've experienced this year. Best wishes and big hugs!

fruitful - Wednesday, 22 Jul
I am so sorry to hear this news. This what not the way I expected it to end. :sad I wish there was something else that I could say or do to make it all better.