| aussiegirl80 | |
 | Age: 30's Country: Province/region: City: Partner: Yes Children: Yes, 2 Pregnant: No Occupation: |
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| 20-8-2009 - feeling bitter |  My mood while writing this blog:bitter!!! |
This blog is just a vent and may not make much sense, I am just getting this off my chest and no one needs to comment on it lol!
Grrrr, I hate feeling this way. My girlfriend who was due 2 weeks after me with the pregnancy that I lost in Feb has had a healthy little boy 6 weeks early. Another friend of mine who is due 2 weeks after I was with my recent loss has just seen her little one bouncing away on the ultrasound screen. My sister in law is due in October. And the list goes on.....
I am happy for them - I am not a horrible person and I am so glad that everything is going so well for them. BUT I have a bitterness towards them and haven't really talked to them much in a long time except over facebook, but it seems like they ignore me now that they have their little bundles of joy. Maybe they feel akward about the situation but I feel like I have lost so much more than just my babies. I dont know if these friendships will ever be the same. When ever I will see their babies, no doubt I will be thinking how my little ones would have been similar in age and doing the same things they are. I am jealous. I have serious PMS right now lol and just don't want to talk to them at the moment even on the off chance that they call to ask how I am.
Ok rant over.... for now lol! Hopefully I will feel better once AF is here and I can TTC again. I am in no man's land at the moment waiting for my first af after my last miscarriage.
EDIT- Ended up being pregnant but was a chemical pregnancy ended on 26-82009
6 Comments on feeling bitter
♥Always - Thursday, 20 Aug
Hey sweetie. I felt the same after my miscarriage. That wait for your period is horrible. As for everyone else around you having babies i know that feeling all to well! Our friends announced they were pregnant with the same due date as what our bubby was! And they were only trying for two months! I was so angry. They knew about our miscarriage and put off telling me and told my husband with out me there so he come back and tell me! That frustrated me even more! Anyways sweetie sorry if i am going on! And the honest truth is ...you are right is really really sucks! Big hugs your way and sending you heaps of sticky baby dust your way :)
mrsw - Thursday, 20 Aug
I'm so sorry. Like others have said, anyone who has had a loss knows what you are going through. There are some friends I haven't even seen lately because they're pregnant. I don't wish them any harm but I'm so angry and bitter. For goodness sake I'm angry at Celine Dion!!!! What's with that??? It's so normal don't feel badly
ryleighsmom - Thursday, 20 Aug
I hate the no-man's land, me too...not after MC, but no period for a while...getting provera today to get things started...then back on the clomid...again! Don't worry, I dont have that many babies in my life but if I did I would feel exactly the same way...everytime I see a little one, I am like "AAAWWWW, so cute" and then the jealousy creeps in...nothing we can do but hope and pray that we will be the next ones to enjoy the glow! Tons of love, and keep your chin up!!!
hopefully3 - Thursday, 20 Aug
Hun I think how you are feeling is completely normal! Try and keep your head up and I will keep you in my prayers that you get your BFP!!
BabySaunders - Thursday, 20 Aug
I think anyone who has lost a baby can understand how you're feeling. When I lost my baby I was kind of upset that my 19 year old friend who didn't even WANT a kid had a healthy baby. And to be honest she has no idea what she's doing with him, but that's another story. She was essentially starving him and wondering why he was crying all the time. It made me really upset that someone like her can have a healthy baby yet I lost mine. Dont feel bad for how you are feeling.
fruitful - Thursday, 20 Aug
I so feel for you Aussie. I wish we all had our healthy babies or were still happily pregnant. But we must continue on if we want to get another BFP, right?
13-12-2010 - Kylan is nearly 7 months old!!!
09-8-2010 - Kylan 11weeks 5 days!
22-5-2010 - He\'s here!!
13-5-2010 - 36 weeks 1 day
21-3-2010 - 28 weeks 4 days
03-3-2010 - 26 weeks - due dates and anniversaries
22-1-2010 - 20 week ultrasound
30-11-2009 - 12 week ultrasound
29-10-2009 - First Ultrasound
04-10-2009 - 9 BFP's!!!
20-8-2009 - feeling bitter
22-7-2009 - update
15-7-2009 - please not again
03-7-2009 - Waiting for my first ultrasound
23-6-2009 - scared
18-6-2009 - YIPPEE!!!
02-6-2009 - cross roads
24-5-2009 - doctor\'s appt today
15-4-2009 - 2 week wait....
29-3-2009 - Getting ready to try again..
25-3-2009 - What would you do?
15-3-2009 - I need to get this off my mind!